Four More Days

Four More Days

5 chapters / 2718 words

Approximately 14 minutes to read

Description:

When Spark Cyeanne gets a heart attack and only has four more days to live, her sisters are devastated. But, despite their hatred for each other, they come together, determined to give Spark the best four days anyone has ever had. Will Spark be able to see her sisters together before she dies, or are their personalities too different for them to ever agree with each other?
Cover design by Rae Daniels

Genres:

Writing

Comments(3)

345

11 months ago vinylpickle said:

I really really like this story! I've thus far only read two chapters and I'm excited to read on! If I can say anything about this so far, I like the character development and they are all very uniquely formed to create good emotion when something does happen to the main sister. For improvements, I would say just make sure to check up on your grammar and spelling before you put out the chapter, just so it feels more finished. Also, I feel there are a few points where you heavily rely on adjectives, then dial it back considerably and it throws me off for a moment. Just be consistent. There are so many other things you can do to go into depth on characters and setting other than adjectives, but most of the time you do it very well :) Great read! Keep doing you!

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over 1 year ago Clary said:

This story is very enjoyable so far. Since it was only the first four chapters the story is very unestablished so far. I really want to see what's going to happen. Though there wasn't tons of description, there was just enough. I really liked the fact you switched point of view and you got a chance to see how the sisters felt. I also liked how you started a little before the hospital because it let me see more of the characters personality. I loved it and I really want to read more.

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over 1 year ago Amanda Ranaldi said:

I enjoyed reading the first two chapters.Id love to read the next. Keep up the good work. It is very well written and descriptive. Just maybe needs little more description for the characters in the story. But other than that it is good! :)

Reviews(7)

Beauty

7 months ago Alecia Walls said:

Great story, few grammatical errors

Wherebeb

over 1 year ago Michael M. said:

Pretty good. I'd agree with the grammar suggestions that have already been given. I'd also suggest using stronger verbs in certain areas, especially with regard to emotional expression (sorry I don't have any specific places to give you). I like the structure you're using with each sister's perspective, certainly wouldn't change it, but I wonder how the mother feels. Ultimately this is an interesting piece but I think what it needs most is a dedicated proof read either by you or someone who you know with a sharp eye. Keep at it.