To Rise or be Struck Down

To Rise or be Struck Down

15 chapters / 13704 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

NOVEL || YA Action Fantasy || WIP


The land of Erador is ruled by a tyrannical, throne usurping king. Every rebellion that has sprung up has been brutally put down, and when Jasper, Wren, and Greta's parents are murdered, they must set out on their own to escape death themselves. They travel Erador, helping villages being attacked by soldiers, but when Wren is wounded in a fight and a strange young man saves the siblings, what will happen? And who is the young man who so desperately wants their helping taking down the king?
To view characters: http://she-walks-beauty.blogspot.com/2016/11/to-rise-or-be-struck-down-character.html
Lovely cover by Elizabeth Blair
This piece is copyright Irene Grey 2017. It may not be reproduced or copied without direct permission from me.

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(21)

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4 months ago Haley Lane said:

I love your books. I can't wait for you to update them.

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8 months ago Harley Quinn said:

I love you book! I jus wish I had a early access code!! Please update soon!!

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9 months ago Eredhion the Ranger said:

Read the latest chapter, full of actionnnnn mwahaha but I felt sorry for the girls. I think Jasper is my favorite character.

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10 months ago Staci Young said:

Oooooo I love books like this!

Reviews(24)

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8 months ago Christian Morrison said:

Chapter 5 (IV):

Hm...I know it's not generally thought to be this way, but I think Jasper is taking the safest route for them by joining.

"Who turned at looked at me" Did you mean 'and looked'? As the sentence is, the error might confuse someone.

I like the personal touch at the end after the dream.

Backstory 2 (I'm going to add that # as reference):

"it was all worth him" This phrase seems very awkwardly worded. Maybe reword it?

Hrm...can I punch Redmond? Please? I already know this is going to end badly, and on the day of Casper's son's birth of all times. I have an idea of who this son is. Just from my knowledge of tropes and such.

Good chapter. Looks like the other Backstory was going somewhere, so I'm glad for that. Little backstories make me excited, especially as it helps me visualize how the situation of the story came to be. There was a misspelling, "new" should be 'knew' based on context, but other than that, pretty well written.

Chapter 6 (VI):

"She a sprightly thing" I think you're missing a verb.

Wren and Henry's argument honestly sounds like a lovers' quarrel. XD It's hilarious to be honest.

Ah! No!!!!! That ending! No me gusta! The chapter is well written other than the one error I mentioned. I'm just freaking out because...hrm, I won't spoil it since it's unnecessary to mention it.

Chapter 7 (VII):

You misspelled Greta right off the bat. I mean, she's a "Great" character, but I don't think that's how you've spelled her name up to this point. And yes. I did just make a pun. XD

I'm glad the worst of my fears didn't happen. Very glad. Overall a very well written sentence signifying the fast-paced feel of the scene.

I tried to review further, but it seems to end on Chapter 7...WHY!? I was really getting into this story and it just ended. ;-; Honestly, though, I can't wait until more of this is up, and I think you'll do great in NaNoWriMo!

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8 months ago Christian Morrison said:

So I had to reread the earlier chapters in order to get my mind into the story again, and noticed some things I think I might've missed before.

Chapter 2:

"The pain [w]as no longer a shock. Tears rolled down my face, and I let out a sob." These two sentences don't make sense at all as is. Maybe combine them so that people understand that the pain isn't shocking, but still hurts a lot? In your own words, of course. I added the 'w' to make more sense of the sentence, so that's why I have the brackets.

I don't know how it is in this family, but how does "I love you" come out suddenly like that? It just sounds really sudden in my mind.

Chapter 3:

I like the new guy. He's jocular enough to be cool, but not overbearingly so. And he's got to be the love interest from the way Wren seems to be basically falling for him.

This Wren and "idiot" thing is hilarious. XD You've done a good job in writing their interactions and Wren's thoughts. When your fan base grows to be considerably big, I am betting "Wrenry" will be thing. Or some other thing like that. (Man, I really need to hang out with more guys XD)

Wow. That was really deep at the end. I liked it. :)

Anyway, not going to lie, but you have a LOT of misspellings and grammatical errors. Most of them are just the same thing repeated multiple times, so I'm guessing it's a problem with your keyboard (you've mentioned something like that, so...). Other than that, this chapter was really well written. Good job ;D

Backstory:

Hm...I see. I don't really see the purpose of this chapter unless it's something similar to Dawn Kearn's Interlude chapters in "Gift of the Dreamseer", explaining a series of events in the past to help the reader understand certain parts of the story. If that's not the case, and this chapter is just there to be there, I see no point in having it, honestly. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I'm just trying to be honest.

Assuming this chapter is part of a series of chapters spread throughout the book, it's not a bad start. It's really short and doesn't explain much, though. Maybe lengthen it?

Chapter 4:

This Wren and Henry thing never seems to stop making me laugh as I read it. Greta just makes it so much better. XD

"...you wouldn't be" what? If he's interrupting himself, indicate so, but otherwise I think you left off a bit of that sentence.

Another very well written chapter. :) There are a few more spelling errors, but they're not major. Simply missed letters as before.

I'm really liking this story, and you're doing a great job writing it! I'm probably going to speed review this story just so I can get to reviewing other people's stories (I actually had someone contact me about a swap I have yet to do much with :l ), so fair warning. Anyway, as I've said, you're doing a great job and I look forward to reading more! :D