A Pleasant Death

A Pleasant Death

1 chapter / 293 words

Approximately 1 minute to read

Description:

Inspired by my sister's poem 'Its my pride'
Check this one out-
http://figment.com/books/1017723-Its-my-pride-

Comments(10)

Theia

8 months ago Cynthia Silver☾✯ said:

Wow. I'm stunned speechless by the powerful message of this. I love how right-to-the-point you were with this, and it was really effective in delivering its message of patriotism. I especially loved how you never mentioned a specific country, which makes the story applicable to anyone and everyone. There is really nothing I can suggest, it was perfect all the way. Great job!

Photo0763

8 months ago Arietta Coleman said:

Short was great. Got its point across and is touching for anyone of any nation in war. :)

Bw icon

8 months ago Noceurx said:

I commend your skill for being able to tell such a fulfilling story in so few words :o This was very passionate with emotions flowing right off the page and a much more enjoyable read than I expected (I don't typically read these sorts of genres/topics.) The vivid imagery and way you expressed his feelings really drew me in. Great work here~!

Sanya k 2

8 months ago Haley Kissell said:

Fantastic. Short and to the point but still thrilling.

Reviews(10)

Screen shot 2017-07-08 at 10.09.18 pm

4 months ago Etha G. said:

This is a pretty good piece. I liked that you never specified which country the soldier is fighting for, which makes the message applicable to almost any country/time. I don't know how much I like the romanticized view on war, making it sound like a noble sacrifice instead of a hellhole of chaos and misery, but that's my own personal view, and not something you should change. I did notice that you've got a habit of using more commas than you need to, the best example can be seen in paragraph two. But that's just a minor note. Overall, you did a good job at conveying your message and sticking to it. Your spelling and grammar was good too, which I'm very grateful for. Keep on writing!

Image

5 months ago Rachel Magaria Hilborn said:

Oh my goodness this is great! It's short and sweet, you know? Long enough to tell the story; any shorter and justice wouldn't have been done, and yet any additions I feel like would take away from it. So I feel like this was very well done on your part. Now, I totally feel like a total hypocrite telling you this because I struggle with it so much myself: but I do think that your tenses tend to switch back and forth quite a bit; past with present. Gosh, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. But oh well! you asked for a review so I gave it. All the best to a fellow figgie. Cheers, love!