Imaginary friend

Imaginary friend

9 chapters / 6501 words

Approximately 33 minutes to read

Description:

WIP)) a girl loses her grip on reality after her mother commits suicide and a new woman comes into her life.

Genres:

Writing

Comments(6)

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about 1 month ago Scarlet Warrior said:

Dude waaaa that's how it ends?

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about 1 month ago The Buttonman said:

I really enjoyed this and really am anticipating what's going to happen next. I love it so far. Sophie mentally seems older for her age but that makes sense with what she has been through. It seems to me that Suds isn't what he seems and I like stories that make you question things like that. I'm going to follow you to see where you take this. I saw that you wanted feedback in the forums and I noticed that you had some grammatical errors but nothing to major. I would suggest reading it out loud to see where they are and maybe reword some sentences. You don't have to but I recently wrote the first chapter to a novel I started and it's a little shorter than what you have here. It's called Grotesque and if you could give me your feedback I would really appreciate it.

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7 months ago Peggy Schuyler said:

Ok, this is so depressing and good. I cried because I was reading this and listening to sad music :)

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8 months ago Nelleh said:

Pretty depressing, but really good.

Reviews(5)

2

18 days ago Kelsea Dove said:

First Chapter: nice introduction. There are some very obvious errors with punctuation, and at some point you mushed two words together. Second Chapter: I liked the last line. Really shows you Sophie's emotions and opinions. For the rest of the review I won't be going by Chapter. Again, there are a lot of errors with punctuation, but nothing too major that takes away from the story. God, I hate her Dad. During the gym game your wrote "couch" instead of "coach" and that confused me for a few seconds. *Also random thought amidst the review, for the first few chapters you wrote out the chapter number (ex. Chapter One) but then changed to the numbers (ex. Chapter 3); keep it consistent* At the end of Chapter 5, you said that the boy's name was Sam, but in the next chapter, you call him San. Which is it? Besides the errors, I think the story is really good and well developed.

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23 days ago Strider said:

It was easy for me to feel empathy for Sophie, you entirely succeeded in getting me into my feels. I noticed several grammatical errors, but I am assuming that most are meant to be incorrect to create diverse speech patterns among your characters. For example, Sophie's new friend's introduction, "Me Suds, my friends call me Suds." (I may have been off a little on that quote, but I am just trying to give you a location.) Plot-wise,I loved it! One thing that got me into my feels was that one 'scene' where Frank was wanting to bond with Sophie (I'm assuming based on Sophie's thoughts), He chose one of Jade's favorite movies. I mean, wow. That guy is a dick. And to top it off, he leaves Sophie in the middle of the movie to go to his bedroom with Jade to do... That guy is a dick. (pardon my language, its my feels talking.) Like Innocent Minds, I think you have a real grasp on reality as far as predicting the emotions of real people and putting it on paper. 10 out of 10. I hope you continue this.