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Approximately 5 minutes to read
∆ FINISHED ∆ Entry for the Wolves Title Contest by Those Weird Writers
2 days ago Jasmine L.J.Y said:
A short but beautiful story. Like it very much!:)
7 days ago Naki Lashiva said:
Oh my gosh, your writing is amazing. I love your writing style so much--it just draws me in :D
10 days ago Mint Splash said:
This is an absolutely beautiful book! Your writing painted clear pictures in my mind.
about 1 month ago Coral Vaci said:
1 day ago Matthew Dalzell said:
As a wolf enthusiast, this drew my attention. Superb cover art. However...
This story needs advanced style and diction, in addition to a clearer more productive plot. Numerous oddities, from the name "Balkin" (like the Balkan peninsula? Why not spell it similarly?) to the excessive use of pronouns and odd forms of speech.
The story opening slows the entire piece. Yes, the wind is important...but as a subject, it does not serve to open the story well. It is so flowery, so descriptive...and does absolutely nothing for the plot. As such, it is extraneous--beautiful, but nevertheless extraneous. Instead of describing every possible way the wind smells, moves, and simply is, why not use it in a manner befitting the story, i.e., as something that actually moves the plot.
The story is brief...barely a short story by industry standards. As such, excessive description and adjective use (which should be small in any true piece of fiction) should be almost nonexistent. You have few words with which to work...why are so many of them adjectives. It is verbs that move a story, not adjectives. These are like jewelry...too much, and your story looks like a harlot rather than a well-dressed woman.
Why...why is the dialog italicized? Some writers italicize thoughts and dreams from spoken words to help differentiate...still unnecessary; you have quotes /and/ italics. Unless the spoken words are thoughts, please just use quotation marks.
In closing, I am left wanting to know more about the wolves who kissed the sky. I dislike stories who's titles tempt me with promising concepts, yet fail to deliver with substantial plots and compelling language. I feel like someone who purchased a Starbucks coffee only to discover it's inferior to true French press coffee. In my opinion, the cleverer the title, the better the story should deliver. Please improve this work. Wolves, if for anything else, deserve a better piece of fiction.
9 days ago Lizzy said:
I love your book! I never thought of such things before, but your book, makes me think. I love the names. They are so detailed and carefully thought for. I love the details, it's the details that truly make the book.
I honestly never read a book like this before. But it's perfect. I love anything mystical, but you bring mystical to a whole new level! Your book is so awesome and I can't wait to read more of your stories.