Untitled

Untitled

9 chapters / 7114 words

Approximately 36 minutes to read

Description:

©2017 By MaryAnn Cunningham ~ Jess does not see the world as others see it. She is different; and she doesn't know if that is a good or bad thing. However, when tragedy strikes and her mom suddenly passes away, Jess does what her mom wants her to do: get a life and go to high school.

Genres:

Drama, Novel, Adventure

Comments(12)

Ayesha 1

7 months ago Ayesha Binte Islam said:

The way you have written "Untitled" - it's amazing! Great job! :-)

The fatal mistake legal

7 months ago Isabel S. said:

I'm always interested in stories that have people with disabilities in them. Just curious: how much do you know about deaf people? She seems to understand what's going on a lot better than a normal deaf person would in my opinion. Also, reading lips isn't easy or 100% infallible. Just watch any of those bad-lip-reading videos out there.

Pokemon

7 months ago A.R. KYRON said:

The story is really descriptive and I loved that thing. However it sounded a bit informal to me, you can edit it or keep it as it is, it doesn't really matter much.

Nice job. Keep it up :D

Capture

7 months ago Jazzy said:

I absolutely loved this story, I can't wait to see more from you! And I'd love it if you'd take a look at my writing, I just recently started out and really need some opinions on it!

Reviews(3)

Photo on 7-5-16 at 9.45 pm

5 months ago Jaxon Storm said:

Hey, Thanks for agreeing to a swap even though you don't normally do them. I forgot to check your bio before asking, but I'm glad you were willing to swap with me anyways!

To start, I had planned to read the first 4 chapters for the review, but I ended up enjoying it and reading the whole book, so I figured I might as well review the whole thing. Like I said, I enjoyed it a lot and read the rest because the plot really intrigued me.

Your prologue had a lot of great description, especially of the various characters. The main thing I'd say would be that I think she's a little too upbeat in the first chapter. As a deaf person, especially a high school deaf person, it would be more realistic if she was a bit more pessimistic. This would also leave more room for character development.

In chapter 1 and 2, I like how you use them to set a more clear personality. The only thing is, I think at the beginning of chapter 1 you need to give a bit more indication of how old she is. Also, she seems really naive, especially the way she reacts to a car wash and how she knows almost nothing about prom. I understand that she's deaf and homeschooled, but even considering that, it seems a little unrealistic.

Chapters 3, 4, 5 and 6 were really good! I really started getting sucked into the story at that point. You did a great job capturing shock and sadness, and I thoroughly enjoyed these chapters.

Finally, Chapter's 7 and 8 were also great. I love how you describe the chaotic feelings that you can get at high school and your description of the party was spot on! It painted a really clear picture in my mind. You also ended chapter 8 on a really good cliff hanger.

Just be careful to keep in mind that she's deaf. Occasionally you mention her hearing things, or use sound words.(Once she used an analogy to listening to music in the first chapter)

Other than that, this is a really intriguing book with a good plot, and it has the potential to have a really great message as well, so keep it up:D

I also really enjoy her faith! It's nice to hear about an authentic relationship with God, even if it's just in a fictional character.

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9 months ago adiedo said:

Hello! First of all, I want to apologize for taking SO long to return this swap! D: Second, I wanna thank you for your AMAZINGLY kind review! :) It was so encouraging and I truly do hope you stick around as I add more chapters. I'd love to hear your opinion!

Now onto the review! Okay, I really liked your first line. It didn't throw me off (which is rare for me). At times it feels as if I'm just chatting with a friend because the writing style is so casual haha. But then after it point it can get a bit annoying because your main character is one of those walking catastrophe friends that just talk about how everything is going wrong xD Maybe try speeding up the plot a bit?

A few things I noticed is that she mentions something along the lines of, "when you're singing and you know you're off-key but you don't really do anything to fix it", yet how would she even really know what any of that means? She even mentions that she has no clue what's going on in church during the singing haha

There were a few other small inconsistencies about her hearing, so I'd advise maybe just kinda skimming through and correcting those. Other than that, good job and keep writing! :)