C.o.t.F.S.: The Rise of Corpsefire

C.o.t.F.S.: The Rise of Corpsefire

18 chapters / 27981 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

This is a work in progress!
In the midst of great war between two sides of four different nations, an old enemy arises to destroy them all.
Thrown from the lives they once knew, a group of rebels from all four of the warring kingdoms must make peace with one another to defeat their common enemy. Blood will be spilled and friends will fall. Will they all survive against the onslaught of the Corpsefire?
Chronicles of the Fantasy Squadron Book 1

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(1)

Avaminn f'nett 2

2 months ago Dawn Kearns said:

I like your new cover!

Reviews(19)

Avaminn f'nett 2

6 days ago Dawn Kearns said:

Chapter 17

"I left the room" - Since you're writing in present tense, this should be "I leave the room."

"Anyway, as soon as I'm done changing" - I would delete "anyway"

Riley's being friendly to this girl, and then has to control herself to not punch her? She didn't do anything particularly upsetting that would even cause an easily-angered person to want to punch her. Riley's thought process here is quite confusing. Why is she being friendly in the first place when clearly she doesn't like this girl? The only reason I can think of is to try to get information, but Riley doesn't seem to have that intention.

In a battle setting, I have no idea what Love magic would even be used for. I'm not even sure what Love magic even does yet, but I guess I'll find out.

I like Pitha so far. She's pretty weird and her change of character was super odd. She's someone I definitely want to see more of.

Avaminn f'nett 2

about 1 month ago Dawn Kearns said:

Chapter 16

Apparently all redheads look the same, who knew? Seriously, though, this is the SECOND time Sara has been mistaken for someone else.

"Shoving an arrow through a Warsgalan girl" - This makes it sound like Faith is pushing the arrow into her rather than out of her.

"I sense a magic" - Shouldn't that just be "I sense magic"?

Pfft, this scene with Tilera seems like something out of an anime. It always has to happen. *laughs*

He gets knocked out by a door hitting him in the face? How hard must that have been? It seems a bit silly right now, especially after all the other stuff he's been through.

I feel like this chapter could have been lengthened a bit. Not a lot happened and I was hoping Sara would finally wake up.