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Approximately 6 minutes to read
Allison. She's psychic.
Matthew. He has precognition.
Lucas. He has more powers than you could possibly imagine.
The Devil. No need for descriptions.
about 21 hours ago E.R.Schaefer said:
I didnt see the update in my notifications, but I love it. Im in love with this story!!
4 days ago Abby A said:
This story line is pretty interesting! Try to add more descriptions and slow the pace, it goes a little too quickly without explaining what's going on. Your dialogue needs to be a separate paragraph though, other than that, interesting story!
5 days ago Carleigh Campbell said:
This is very good, keep writing, i am looking forward to reading more!
5 days ago Scribere said:
I am liking the suspense you are keeping throughout the intro.. I guess it's too early for a review. I would love to review it after you add 1 or 2 more chapters, so that I can get a hold of story and give genuine reviews. Also, I didn't see any issues with prologue when writing is concerned.
Just let me know once you add chapters, I'll be happy to come back and review it.
about 8 hours ago Venus said:
-Because you asked me for a read :)-
This story has a lot of potential. A plot like what you have here hooks a reader and won't let go. However, this could be executed better. I saw that you used 'unhuman' a lot. Did you mean 'inhuman'? Also, the masculine term for waitress is waiter.
Try slowing down the flow of information too. There's a lot happening at once, and the reader isn't having enough time to process everything. And when using dialogue, it was a bit difficult to find out who was speaking. Also, having excessively long paragraphs can tire a reader's eyes and bore them out of reading your story.
There are a few minor punctuation and spelling mistakes, but every good writer has them. Just make sure to proofread before you publish. Other that that, this has some great potential. Happy writing!
4 days ago Felocity Testa said:
This is a good story. Although im sitting next your a good writer.