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Approximately 1 minute to read
Internet bestie contest
3 months ago Dawn Kearns said:
The opening paragraph was good, but the rest of the story just felt too rushed and seemed more like a journal entry than an actual narration. Why not include some dialogue between the two girls? The contest has a 2017-word limit, so you've got a lot of space to add more.
3 months ago FirstDraftWorstDraft said:
Let me start by encouraging you to keep pursuing your passion and keep writing no matter what anyone says to you or what you say to yourself. You can only improve, and if you want to be a writer, you will.
Having said that, this is not a good story. It's not scary because we never knew the character enough to fear for her safety, and the reason for her death was not relatable or unnerving. Honestly, it was silly. There wasn't much of a story here anyway, you just repeated the contest summary. You can do much, much better than this. I really want to see you try again.