Sleep Deprived

Sleep Deprived

3 chapters / 2078 words

Approximately 10 minutes to read

Description:

Dustin Pruit began to have nightmares. He doesn't know why he's having these horrible dreams, but it's taking over his life. He can't go to school, work, hang out with friends. His life is changing dramatically. He's too scared to sleep, he's too scared to do anything anymore. Will he somehow manage to make these nightmares go away? Or will they completely destroy him?

Genres:

Writing, Action, Horror

Comments(4)

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about 1 month ago Kylie Elaine said:

This is awesome, you're a really great writer! I'm so looking forward to reading the rest of this book! P.S, welcome to the group:)

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about 1 month ago Lizzi said:

I read the first half of this story and I could see that you had a good idea based around it. I just had a hard time picturing the moments in my head. It flowed a little fast.. But I do hope that you continue to write, edit and revise because that's all writing is about. Good Luck!

xoxo ~Lizzi

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2 months ago Kyla Ann said:

I think this will become a very interesting story! I can't wait to read more! I love how the characters are being shaped and I am very curious to see how the plot unfolds.

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2 months ago Arietta Coleman said:

I like the connection to his friends and classmates. I can connect with dealing with slackers. I was with the same group of knuckleheads from kindergarten to when I graduated high school three years ago. I was glad to get rid of them, lol. I really like this so far and hope you write more soon. :D

Reviews(7)

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about 1 month ago Brianna Callanan said:

Chapter 1

The first paragraph, first sentence it says “my my”.

The first paragraph, second sentence it should be an uppercase I.

The first paragraph, last sentence I don’t know if you were trying to do ellipses. If not, there are too many periods.

The fourth paragraph, third sentence it says “its” instead of “it’s”.

The fourteenth paragraph second sentence there is a lowercase h instead of an uppercase h in “hey”.

Great chapter. I liked reading it. I love how you introduced Dustin’s social circle and their standing in the school. I am curious what grade they are in. Great job.

Chapter 2

The fifth paragraph “i’m” needs and uppercase I.

The fifth paragraph needs an uppercase A in “alright”.

The seventh paragraph needs to be an uppercase Y in “you”.

The eighth paragraph needs an ‘ in “Its”.

This also a great chapter. I love Dustin and his friends. They are goofy and fun. So they are old enough to drive, so I guess at least sophomores. I would keep reading this. Let me know when you add more. Great job.

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about 1 month ago Auroni D. Emile (Kyron) said:

I read the first chapter only and it sounds interesting. I pointed out some small errors which might help you (includes suggestion):

1. I guess first chapter i.e plot belongs to the description.

2.Second line of chapter one- "As (i) stared at the words..." 'i' should be capitalized.

3.I think the first paragraph should contain a bit more description.

4.No need to put a comma between 'I glanced over' and 'hearing a bell'

5."You say that like (its) a bad thing" 'its' should be it's.

6.There should be a comma before Andy in the line 'I chuckled softly....to our other friend'

7.You used the word 'glance' too many times. Perhaps you would like to look for a synonym.

8."(Whats) the plan after the school?" 'whats' should be what's

9."(hey) Einstein". Here, 'h' of 'hey' should be capitalized.

Other than these, the piece seemed to be okay. I apologize if I overlooked something.

You have a pretty good concept here, keep it up!