Liaffon Book One: East Seekers

Liaffon Book One: East Seekers

14 chapters / 30355 words

Approximately about 3 hours to read

Description:

Cover by me. Updated(08/15/2017). This version is made for easier reviewing. Be sure to check the "Index".
Belome Konas, age 20, was given the job as Glass Wielder. But this is traditionally meant for the eldest in the glassmaking family. The once close brothers lose touch of each other and their father forbids them to tell even the village leader about this. Although the Harvest Festival seemingly reunites them, an old family enemy, the Terrens are rumored to have returned. They threaten to kill Belome but then the Guardians choose him to travel in his leader's place on a journey that will change his life. But change is exactly what he doesn't want.

Genres:

Writing, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(8)

Img_3492 (2)

4 months ago Samuel Roberts said:

It was great! Honestly one of the more creative works I've read. I also appreciate the amount of research you must've had to do (regarding glassmaking).

Pokemon

5 months ago A.R. KYRON said:

Another thing, I felt for some reason that the portion where the brothers are named officially should be the beginning of a new chapter. You can keep the first chapter as prologue.

Just personal thoughts :)

Best of luck again!

Pokemon

5 months ago A.R. KYRON said:

I read the first chapter only.

Goodness me! Why is it so good? Just awesome! Splendid!

Firstly, I'd say the title is awesome. I mean, I love the name of the village. 'Liaffon' sounds cool and adventurous!

Honestly speaking, I found nothing much to criticize.

The description was good enough, I was lost in the book.

Only one suggestion, put the glossary at the beginning.

Keep it up. I'll try to read more soon :)

Red

5 months ago Red said:

Okay, I looked at Chapter 4...and saw that it was under construction :p

Then I looked at Chapter 3 again and noticed that you fixed some of the things I pointed out.

Belome did manage to properly react and the woman(was it a man in the previous draft?) was actually pretty intimidating this time around.

The end also had me intrigued...and I highly suspect Paetok's sudden brotherliness(I think it's spelled without a 'y') is just because he had something to do with the woman.

I still can't see quite how the story picks off(not a criticism, mind you), but there's at least something to look forward to now(again, not a criticism, but the last two chapters...well they just ended by just setting up the world).

Reviews(20)

Image

28 days ago ShadowKingLegette said:

I didn't know this version of this the story existed until the other day but now I'm finished reading both. I like this one better to tell you the truth. Both are great in any case and I hope there's more to come of this part.

Red

about 1 month ago Red said:

Chapter 4 Part 2

Why the heck am I feeling so hungry?

"The usual amount he paid for stories"...that's...interesting. Well, I guess it's no different than paying for information...but "the usual amount"...is there a trade for these sort of things?

"...flared their nostrils as they sniffed the silvers" XD.

Payment for translation...I am dying.

Umm...a piece of advice...maybe leave the original text out of the translation. The reader already has an idea on how confusing the original version and doesn't need to see the untranslated version is. Just my opinion though.

WHAT! THAT'S IT?! Seeing a strange man with some silver block on him warranted twice the usual amount of a normal story? I demand to know what a normal story is in this place? A normal man holding a bronze piece? Haggle Belome! Haggle!

Okay, the rest of the chapter was pretty standard with nothing much to comment on...and well...I had kinda hoped that I'd get a more clearer idea on where the plot is headed...but I guess I am still in the dark.