Varvana's Gift

Varvana's Gift

4 chapters / 8832 words

Approximately 44 minutes to read

Description:

This is the second draft of Varvana's Gift so far. I will update as I edit each chapter.

Scarlett has been waiting for this chance her entire life; the chance to get close to the King. By traveling to the Capital, she will be entering into a contest to become the prince's bride. But things get more complicated as she travels into the politics of court. Will she make it out unharmed?

Comments(7)

43f51be90a69f657e2c032328828d876

about 13 hours ago Swaggy Llama said:

I'm sorry that I took a while. Your story is really good so far and I really enjoy your writing style. I like how the main character is not the leader of the rebellion, as in many stories the main person is, or is very important to it.

Avatar-thumb

2 months ago oilly said:

Good post with fulfilling tips and examinations. ‚ÄčThis was a really shocking test and ideally I can go to the running with one. watch regrow hair protocol review

Avatar-thumb

2 months ago venny said:

I think the work that they are doing here is so extraordinary. You will have the capacity to favored viewpoint such a stunning aggregate from the work here. ProudReview

0901161449

3 months ago C.M. Brighid Bachleda said:

All three chapters were well written and I look forward to the next installment...

Reviews(15)

Pokemon

about 3 hours ago A.D. Emile {Kyron} said:

I laughed at what Markus, the guard did***

(I missed 'did' last time. Sorry for the typo)

Pokemon

about 3 hours ago A.D. Emile {Kyron} said:

(I read the first chapter only)

The title itself is awesome. Clever choice of name, I'd say.

Vivid description, it dragged me right into the story. Enough to keep a reader glued to the piece.

I laughed at what Markus, the guard. According to Liana, or the narrator, she found it enjoyable to play with the guard's fear of her dad. But I think, the thing was expressed in a single line only. Her act didn't express it at all. In the story, she could've teased the guard a bit to make the sentence believable.

The man who played with Liana sounded smart. But I'd suggest you to add some more description about him.

I felt that the man gave up too easily during his fight with Liana. You can add a bit to the fight scene to make it more realistic.

The last para was engaging. But for some reason I felt that the issue of killing the king came up suddenly.

These are just personal thoughts and suggestions, please don't take them too seriously.

In a word, good concept. Beautifully written. It has the potential to become a great story. Keep it up :)