Unconditional

Unconditional

1 chapter / 88 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Description:

******COVER BY CAITLIN COX********
A love poem, about the unconditional way I feel about my little sister. She taught me what it really means to love.

Genres:

Writing, Poetry, Romance

Comments(3)

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27 days ago Hannah Grace said:

Wow, this is such a heartfelt poem! I don't have a ton of critique as this is your only poem and I'm not familiar with your style, but I hope you write more soon! I would have liked if this was longer maybe, but that's just me :) Awesome job!

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about 1 month ago Dustin said:

Short and elegant! I enjoyed reading this, and hope you keep writing in the future!

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about 1 month ago Roanoke Wilde said:

Ermargersh...this was BEAUTIFUL!!! *cries* Seriously. I love the rhymes and the power/emotion behind every word. I can tell you are a VERY talented poet and I can really see the depth of how much you care for your little sister. That was honestly amazing. Keep writing, Izzy, and have a great day/night! :)

Reviews(3)

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28 days ago micheal_clifford_is_daddy_af said:

Amazing I loved it so much I didn't read the discirption and I knew it was about your sister Its was great

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29 days ago Isabel S. said:

First off, great job! You definitely conveyed how dedicated a sister's love is very well. Your rhyming was good, and I didn't find any errors in your work.

However, the wording of one line bugs me. While it's not grammatically wrong, I think that there could be an easier way to say it. "Just to look into your eyes can brighten my day." It seems a little clumsy, especially if you try to read it aloud. I'd have written it like this (and this is just a suggestion--you don't have to change it if you don't want to, of course): "Just a look in your eyes can brighten my day."

And there are many other ways you could say this line, too, depending on how you want it to sound.

Again, great job overall. I hope you keep writing!