Monsters Among Us

Monsters Among Us

6 chapters / 2482 words

Approximately 12 minutes to read

Description:

"Margot!" Yelled Scott across the room at his friend who was no where in sight. She couldn't be seen in the blur of people running, their elegant dresses and suits stained with cake and fancy champagne.
.......
The door was kicked open, Margot couldn't see faces, the light had blinded her. She looked to the attackers with pleading eyes, but to no avail. They aimed.

A gunshot. A scream. A death.

{UNDER EDITING}

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about 1 month ago generalcategory said:

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Reviews(1)

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about 1 month ago Eowyn Doyle said:

Wow, the first chapter left me on the edge of my seat! I greatly enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading what happens next.

ADVICE-

1)Descriptions. What did the men with guns look like? What does Scott look like? This would help to put the reader into the story.

2)Emotions. The readers heart should pound with fear and they should cry when Scott leaves.