I am Kirk

I am Kirk

5 chapters / 7219 words

Approximately 36 minutes to read

Description:

"I am Kirk. I am trying to fit in. This is my story."

Kirk is a walking and talking corpse, literally. He's the result of a resurrection gone wrong and soon, he and his parents must face the consequences in the unpredictable world of High School.

Comments(12)

Tahlie

1 day ago Tahlie Purvis said:

I lived this so far and you kept me engaged throughout the entire story! Kirk seems like such an interesting character and the way you write shows just that. The simplicity of your story works well with everything and I found little to no flaws (based on my opinion). The originality is phenomenal and I can't wait to read more.

Flower- peony

4 days ago None of Your Business said:

I think your story has a unique idea but I feel as though you should show more in your descriptions than just tell. This may be because of your character. I like the idea. But how do they control his body temperature at home? How does his dad know that he is about to eat someone? Do they have jobs? What's up with the "dark side"? In the first chapter you bring a lot of different elements to play and don't answer a lot of questions.

Miyamoto-musashi

16 days ago Skye said:

my thoughts on this one: In a word, unique. I have not seen or heard of a story from this view point and to have a story or idea that nobody else has thought of is just awesome. I like how you present the backstory for everything. You aren't just spitting out exposition but you're integrating into the story through his narration in a smooth way. One criticism might be that at times, the dialogue seems a little off. It's kind of hard for me to explain but sometimes it seems a little unnatural. Overall, though it's an excellent story that you should continue to develop.

3bcc110f81629cd7d45078522757e549

28 days ago Clisa Brovinski said:

so good! and weird. only because I have never read anything like this before. ONLY PROBLEM dd you have to put in the "S" word? C'MON I liked it other than the cussing

Reviews(9)

Photo on 7-5-16 at 9.45 pm

1 day ago Jaxon Storm said:

To start off, this is one of the strangest concepts I've read, but I really enjoyed it! Your writing style really fits the story.

Chapter one was really well done, and the way you wrote in simple mostly sentences for really solidified Kirk's character. If I had to critique this chapter, I'd say, add a bit more dialogue between Kirk and his mother before she drops him off.

Chapter two was great for showing exactly what Kirk is. Once again, the style you wrote in was really effective. I do think you should add a little more description of the parent's reaction after he ate the boar. Maybe he would read the emotion a little, aside from the fact that his mother is sobbing, or notice that there's a strange look on his father's face. The parents seem a little impossibly compassionate in this scene, and I think doing things like hinting at despair, frustration, horror, etc. would really help.

In Chapter 3, I really enjoyed the was the tension built. I noticed Dale said, "Do you wanna be one of the guys tranny gay boy?" and I think you're missing a comma, which normally, I wouldn't point out, but this confused me for a second when I first read it. The other thing I noticed, maybe add more of what Kirk thinks while being hazed. I know he doesn't have feelings at this point, but surely he was wondering what sort of human tradition he was facing.

Chapter 4 was really excellent, and I loved how it ended on a cliff hanger - I really want to read more! Aside from that, I noticed your sentences became more complex as he gained emotion, which really made the change seem real. The only thing is, since he's only partly revived, I think he's almost too perceptive at some times, like when he reads emotions as complex as hatred. Other than that, this chapter was really well done.

Like I said, the concept of this book is one of the strangest things I've read, but you write it in such a way that it intrigued me and compelled me to read more. I really enjoyed it, and the style you wrote with! I hope you write the rest of this, because I really want to read more:)

Bw icon

25 days ago Noceurx said:

REVIEW FOR CHAPTER 1

Suggestions are merely suggestions so don't feel obliged to listen :) Any corrections made will be shown in brackets.

PLOT/CONCEPT

I'm sure plenty of people have told you this before, but this really is a very unique idea! As far as I can think of, I've never come across any stories about zombies in high school. I only read a small portion of your story, but based on the short summary, I can tell that there will be much more in store. I'm curious to see what the main problem of your story will be and how you will develop it. You're off to a great start in this area!

STYLE

In general, your story maintains a very smooth flow and it's rarely hard to read/digest. I also believe the pacing to be suitable to your story and you use just the right amount of imagery. I especially enjoyed the dialogue, which flowed very naturally. You could improve this area a bit by making your explanations a little more subtle, though. A lot of the first chapter seems like Kirk just filling the reader in on his backstory, though your ending does encourage continued reading. I also noticed a few conventional errors as I read. However, I'm also aware this is a first draft and we all have them. I'm sure you'd be able to fix them with some careful rereading :)

CHARACTERIZATION

Like your plot, I think you also wrote very fulfilling characters. They each have a clear personality and purpose. No one is quite alike which makes them stand out and easier to become familiar with. Of course, you do the best job with Kirk. I like that you give him a lot of quirks to emphasize his differences. I think we'll definitely be seeing more of Casey in the future which is exciting! It'll be curious to see how she will affect Kirk's "test."

OVERALL: Sorry for the not-that-in-depth review, but I hope it could help a little! Also, sorry if my rushing ever came across as rude >.< It wasn't my intention at all. I am truly amazed by the originality of your story and I think you'd be able to take it far ^0^ Best wishes and good luck~!