Paint Splatters

Paint Splatters

23 chapters / 2365 words

Approximately 12 minutes to read

Description:

My collection of poems based on the first poem in the collection, "Paint Splatter". Not all of them are the best, but it's more of a collection of my works overall. It focuses a lot on the seasons and change, apathy, and happiness. Featuring: A strange townhouse, a flower, the sky, a song, and my boots. I hope you enjoy it!

Genres:

Writing, Poetry

Comments(3)

Nabrockwc17

2 months ago NEF Castuera said:

Ooohh. I love painting! And I totally love this one too! It painted the speakers passionate feelings very well. and indeed very vibrant. It is very vivid, the wonderful colors that love emits. I like how you portrayed it thru this. I'd love to read the other poems :D Please feel free to update me and call for my read whenever. :)

Pp

3 months ago Kylie Elaine said:

I read the first two poems that you have published (this is for the read you bought in the group)

The first was my favorite of the two. I thought it flowed better and had a wonderful message. I still enjoyed the second, but I didn't think it flowed as well. I did enjoy the last two lines of it though! Good job!

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3 months ago Ben Rakow said:

Nice poem!! Really calm and soothing!

Reviews(4)

Magic fox profile legal with name2

about 1 month ago Naomi Folettia said:

Since I'll be commenting on a lot of them, I needed more space so here are my comments for your poems and if I see any as I read along, some critiques :)

I love the first poem, Paint Splatters. I like how you imagine the colors of the world as food. It reminds of my own attempts at using metaphors of food for nature.

The Sky Was Just Blue had a good beginning and a good end. I like the part at the end where you say when you are sad you will say the sky is blue and that it is your home. A nice positive outlook on life, I felt.

Now, about the middle, you seem to repeat yourself a lot and I'm sure there's something there. You repeat the fact that the sky is blue but you don't have to (rhymed sentence :P ) because it says so in the poem title.

Idk how long you have been writing poetry but the title of the poem (I've found through trial and error) is like the theme of the poem. The topic. You are saying that "the sky was just blue" so the reader automatically thinks that "oh, this poem is about the sky being blue and what the poet felt about it".

But then when you see in the body of text "blue sky", "the sky was just blue", "a bold sky" it gets a bit too repetitive. It feels like you are afraid the reader might not know you are talking about the sky or the blue sky. Fear not and trust the reader :)

Also, a minor point but "you'll ever here" is a typo which should be "hear".

I would suggest rewriting the poem. I can see you are trying to convey that the sky is just blue and nothing else and when I am sad, it makes me feel like I am home. Did I get the message of the poem? This message is very unique. I certainly haven't come across it yet neither have I imagined it (which is a good thing, yay you are the first! :D ). If you rewrite it, work the message in, I bet you will have something very special and unique :)

I absolutely loved "Quirky Townhouses"! :D It's a fun, laughable, cute little poem. Only one typo "ride our bike" should be "bikes" but other than that I saw nothing wrong with it. I just really liked "Three stories of pure unusual" and the riding the bikes in the Church parking lot with the little side story about how you almost died nearly, also laughing until you fell off swings. Through this poem I felt that the quirky townhouses had so many fun little childhood memories, ones that make you smile. Very well written! :D

An Angry Ode to Words. Funny, relatable. You forgot that there are no words that rhyme with purple or orange :P But don't worry it was a very fun poem to read just the way it is. You don't have to change anything. Humor in anything is hard and you did a very good job. I liked "For rhyming with--yeah, whatever, I'm just going to move on". So many times have my poems turned into free verse just for that reason XD

The final one, the song, I read it through with a sort of rhythmic pause and I'm intrigued to hear it. I especially liked "You're dropping your winter right into my lap". I'm not entirely sure what meaning it hides but I really like that image :)

So, overall, a very sweet collection of poems. Idk if this is strange to say but your style kind of reminds me of my style a few years ago (like some of my older poems). I'm not saying it's a bad style. We all have our own styles, us poets :P As for the ones I didn't comment on, some of them I wasn't sure what to think and others I just liked but had nothing else to say. This isn't bad, mind you, it's just a personal preference :)

Anyway, this was a very fun journey through your collection of poems. Happy Writing! :D

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3 months ago ☾✥Rosalie Moire✥☽ said:

This is vibrant. I really feel the emotion. Good job!