Page 105

Page 105

3 chapters / 4662 words

Approximately 23 minutes to read


This is the story of a boy, a girl and a bookshop.


Writing, Romance, Novel


Screen shot 2011-03-07 at 5.15.40 am

12 days ago Christine Rivers said:

For our swap:

I read the first two chapters and it is a great start to your story. The dynamic between Nichol and Johnnie is cute right off the bat. You can tell they are going to like each other despite how much Johnnie claims to dislike reading (which I'm not sure how he could)!

Nichol seems like a lovely character and I always love a strong 'friend' character such as Rileigh (I hope I spelled that right). I hope she plays a part in their story because I grew a liking to her quickly.

Keep writing, I have no doubt it will be an excellent novel.



13 days ago Viviann Stark said:

Hey there! Wow, so I really like this story so far. LOVE Nichol's name and pronunciation, very unique and cute. Johnnie is not who I pictured him to be, which is a good thing. Also, when I first read the description and it said "a girl, a boy, and a bookshop" I immediately assumed that both the characters would love books and reading and I think it was a great twist that Johnnie does not enjoy reading at all.

I love the way you write Nichol's thoughts. She is very relatable and seems very standoffish (maybe she's too much like me which is why I seem to like her so much). Overall, great job. Please keep me posted on when you upload more!



about 11 hours ago Paige Johnson said:

The opening isn't all that original but the flow is clean. I would also chose to be invisible. Never heard the word pedestrianed. I like it. I don't think the paragraphs about the forking is needed. It's a bit confusing with your overuse of the word and doesn't add anything. The claustrophobic part is so relatable. You can capitalize after a colon if it's a full sentence on its own, and it is the second time. Comma after "and even when they dont" Comma before "reaching out to me" because you're listing action. Eraser "on the end of a pencil" seems a bit redundant. "I sat teasingly" isn't needed. We know who says it and how. Comma before "ordered in" Hm, you say you won't open to anyone yet seem to have with the clerk. I wonder how deeply. Interesting you would use the word hippy begrudgingly while also disparaging conservatives. But I suppose the MC has onus for every group, but most authors. Lol, it "smells of old people." Glad where this ends off. I wonder if they'll become friends or romantic or enemies.

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5 days ago Gracie Rose said:

Chapter 2, whoo! This is exactly what I was hoping for, in short. It expands beautifully across what you've already established and the smooth introduction of Johnnie is perfect, something I try to emulate in my iwn writing and therefore appluad you for. As someone who has made various attempts to write the present tense, both in first and third person, it is extremely refreshing to see someone else doing it; and doing it awesomely!