Page 105

Page 105

8 chapters / 11490 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read


This is the story of a boy, a girl and a bookshop.


Writing, Romance, Novel



about 1 month ago Christal Hector said:

I read the first chapter, and I really liked it! It's very well written, both grammar wise and in descriptiveness.

Your main character is cool because she is not the typical bubbly heroine you expect to be at the forefront. Honestly, she reminds me of Raven from Teen Titans.

Anyway, it was a nice read, and thank you for filling out the survey!



15 days ago houli said:

I love this chapter. Seriously, I think it might be favorite one yet.

I like how you open this chapter. It's like a refresher course, and it adds wonderfully to Nichol's character (who I'm loving, by the way. She's really come to life, and I relate to her all too well). I'm pretty sure that colon you have in there is supposed to be a semicolon ;).

I might suggest cutting a bit out of the bus scene. Because you've already had similar scenes, it feels like it drags on a bit to me. However, the points you bring up in Nichol's musings are definitely important, so maybe just bring these up in a different setting.

Her interaction with her dad is spot on - love, love, love. Very easy going and natural. I think I caught that subtle hint in there; walking up to the door, Nichol's guessing what music she'll hear. But upon walking in she finds there is none, showing that things are different and changing. Great grounds to write a story in!

This last part made me giggle, which I think is important to have - the books that make you cry AND laugh are always the best ones. Nichol's reaction is just so relatable and I love her conversation with Rileigh and disgust with the book.

Beautiful work with this chapter Em! Can't wait to get to the next chapter!

Brown haired blue eyed

16 days ago LeChevalierRoland said:

Chapter Two: I really like Nichol. A lot. She has a really strong voice. Though I did think she was a bit rude at first, like she’d gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.

Things to work on: “Stood there is a” is a very odd way to phrase the sentence denoting that a boy is standing there. It didn’t read well. In general, I thought the way you described Johnnie could be improved. It wasn’t bad, but it came off as more of a list than a description.

Overall, that made me want to read more! I was legitimately interested in the characters. Good job!