Page 105

Page 105

10 chapters / 17608 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

This is the story of a boy, a girl and a bookshop.

Genres:

Writing, Romance, Novel

Comments(2)

Icon

about 1 month ago twilight said:

I read up to chapter four, and damn. This shit is AWESOME I love the descriptiveness of it, and how realistic that it is which is very hard to do and make interesting to the reader since real life is usually boring as watching grass grow. I also didn't notice at grammatical errors, although that's not much coming from me since I have awful grammar, but still. This book is awesome and just keep on writing it dude :)

Art2007_floatingingarden

3 months ago Christal Hector said:

I read the first chapter, and I really liked it! It's very well written, both grammar wise and in descriptiveness.

Your main character is cool because she is not the typical bubbly heroine you expect to be at the forefront. Honestly, she reminds me of Raven from Teen Titans.

Anyway, it was a nice read, and thank you for filling out the survey!

Reviews(21)

Img_3809

11 days ago houli said:

My favorite thing about this chapter is the warm-hearted tone it sets. Also, some really great descriptions I wanted to point out because I loooved them:

- "I crave words, conversation, laughter to fill the next half hour."

- "Next to me, Johnnie's even more lost in the music than I am..."

- "My right ear is ringing and hollow from the abscense of Johnnie's music..."

Great job with those, and other descriptions in this chapter! It drew a really strong picture for me.

A formatting thing I noticed: some weird italics going on in this chapter that I don't think were supposed to be there. Probably just Figment screwing up formatting again though haha.

That's about all I got for you - this was a pretty flawless chapter :) One thing I'll tag on the end here - I'm starting to yearn for a change of setting in this story. So far, your scenes have only taken place in three places - the library, the bus, and Nichol's house. All well and fine, but there's something fresh and interesting about new places for the reader to visit, as well as the comfort of old ones. I'm curious about the rest of Nichol's life that I'm not allowed to see - what's it like at her mom's? Sleepover at Rileighs? Coffeeshop down the road? School? Hell, what's her bathroom look like? Just an idea I'm throwing out there... one which I'm sure your mastermind self has already thought long and hard over ;) Great chapter, and again, sorry for the wait! (I can't wait for break)

Img_3809

about 1 month ago houli said:

Hey girl! I'm back from the dead again lol. Anyway, onto chapter 8...

This chapter has A LOT of dialogue. It sounds good - it flows well, and the conversations make sense and I think it's an important piece of the story. But I'll be honest - it was almost tiring to read through so much talking (at least for me). I think if you went through and added a little bit more action, observation, or thinking it would break it up and make it easier to read through. It also keeps the text alive - remember that the readers need more clues to "see" Johnnie's facial expressions or "hear" Nichol's wacky laugh. Does that make sense? Sorry if I'm blabbing haha.

That's really the only thing I think this chapter needs. I love watching the relationship between these two develop and this is a great way to show how much more naturally they're interacting.

Hope that's helpful!