└ The Flare ┘

└ The Flare ┘

3 chapters / 751 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read

Description:

Ongoing │ 2017


Years ago, people on Earth predicted that a solar flare would wipe out the human race and leave the planet a barren wasteland.

At first nobody paid it any attention. But then slowly, signs started showing. The weather started changing, crops wouldn't grow anymore, droughts became the number one problem faced by most countries. The predictions were coming true. Humans would soon cease to exist.

So, these same scientists that foresaw what would happen felt the need to take matters into their own hands. They made labs deep under the ground where they hoped the Flare wouldn't reach them. They intended to gather newborns so they could run experiments and create a race of superhumans with abilities that might help bring the Earth back to what it used to be after being destroyed by the solar flare.

From all of the space exploration they had done, they collected particles from various planets, its moons and even stars and asteroids. They called it 'Essences'. These Essences were the main ingredient in the serum that was injected into these children. And not all of those kids chose to be there. They were all handed in by their parents and had been among hundreds of other children from all around the world to have passed the initial round of tests and were qualified to be injected.

Now grown up, these people, more commonly referred to as experiments, are all of what's left of the world apart from the main scientists and guards at the lab. They still have to undergo a few more tests and events till they can leave the lab.

But nobody knows what they'll find upon reaching land again since anyone that's gone up after the Flare hit, has never come back down...




Comments(11)

Fb_img_1501208672382

6 days ago Laura Jones said:

Great start. Looking forward to what else you have. Keep up the good work! Please feel free to check out my book. It's quite a bit longer, but it seems we are interested in the same genre. Thanks in advance, let me know when you have more up :)

Screen shot 2011-03-07 at 5.15.40 am

11 days ago Christine Rivers said:

For our swap:

This is a great start! I wish there was more to read because I became so interested in the story and I thought I had another chapter to read and then I couldn't access it! But your writing is incredible and I felt so bad for Michael and the twins. I thought Nana should have done more to hide them, but I don't really know much about their world yet.

Keep writing!

-Christine

Willow-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-61513_100_100

11 days ago Elizabeth A. Terry said:

This has so much potential and I'm dying to know more about this world. I've been desiring a good science fiction for so long I was afraid it would never come. So far, you seem to be delivering. I won't do a review at this time. When there's more to be seen, however, I'll gladly do one.

Untitled drawing (1)

12 days ago Alex Yarrow said:

Holy. Crap. I cannot wait for more of this. The premise is awesome. Also, nice gif on my profile!

Reviews(12)

13102744_225021054555497_245752594679115994_n

1 day ago Kaylee Bowing said:

Prologue

1. Across from her, on a pale blue sofa, was a young man...

You can get rid of those commas! The sentence will still have correct grammar, but a smoother feel.

2. I like how you don't really tell us what's going on. It makes me want to keep reading to find out about the White Coats and the tests and everything!

3. Oh okay, so there are still SUVs and stuff. That's nice to know. Is this the future? I think the description kind of made it sound like it was. How far in the future is it?

4. ...on her idea and he nodded...

Since you already say he earlier in the sentence, you can just say: ...on her idea and nodded...

5. ...before getting getting into the bath tub...

I think bathtub is one word, firstly, but I also think you accidentally said getting twice!

6. ...curtain to over himself...

Did you mean cover?

7. Aw snap, did they legit just kill his grandma? o.o Harsh.

8. Dang, the suspense! And unfortunately there's not another chapter yet for me to see what happens! D: At least, not yet. :3

Okay, so obviously it's a bit more difficult for me to get a general feel after just one chapter, especially of the characters, but I do like your writing style. It's not overly descriptive, which is nice because reading paragraphs and paragraphs of descriptions can get really tedious! But you describe enough that I can picture the scene and the characters and everything.

I'm really curious about how far in the future this is and why the White Coats want those children. o.o That's so freaky. In a good way. After reading the description I'm slightly confused, but maybe not as much as I think I am: so they want newborns to, like, keep the human race surviving despite the flare, correct? And so that's why the White Coats were coming for the twins, so that they could use them for that experiment?

I can't wait to get to the next chapters to find out what happens next! Plus then I can get fully introduced to the main characters! :D

Great job!

All magic comes with a price

5 days ago E.W. Hemmings said:

Hello!

First of all, sorry this review took so long to be given to you! I've had quite a lot of swaps on and I've had to juggle them with the editing of my own novel, Page 105. (which I think you owe me feedback on too). However, I really enjoyed reading your prologue! You have a clear writing style and you do a great job of building the tension right at the end of the chapter, and the way you did it I thought was a really original, creative idea.

I don't have many other notes, but here they are...

- Nice first sentence! It sounds ordinary yet kind of sinister at the same time.

- 'two babies in his arms' - I'd put 'with' before this so it makes more sense.

- 'His bright green eyes were focused on the older woman' - this is kind of redundant, as we know he is paying attention to her.

- 'them, his little angels' - maybe just use one of these descriptions as that's all you really need.

- Michael might struggle to pull a shower curtain over himself if he's holding two babies at once.

- 'His vision blurred because of the tears that were starting to form' - maybe shorten this to 'Tears blurred his vision' as it's more direct.

But anyway, those were my thoughts on your prologue, and I think you have the beginnings of something really interesting here. Keep writing, and I look forward to hearing what you think of Page 105.

- Em :)