The Gift

The Gift

9 chapters / 33492 words

Approximately about 3 hours to read

Description:

What would the world actually be like if superheroes exist? The Gift tells the story of a boy name Raito learning that he possesses something called a Gift and now wishes to become a superhero thanks to the new powers he has. However, he's not the only Gift that exist. Raito makes friends with another Gift known as Flight and makes enemies with a Gift named Time Keeper. Friends and foes all warn Raito that using his powers to act as a superhero will only get him killed. Raito must choose to either be the superhero he wants to be or take everyone's advice and abandon that dream.

Genres:

Fantasy, Novel, Drama

Comments(7)

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about 1 month ago Struggle_of_a_writer said:

Oooooo I like this! This Time Keeper reminds me of Steelheart from the Reconers trilogy. How he has croonies working for him and do his dirty work. If I found out I had powers, I would be quite excited too. Gift of sound would be pretty hard to hide and I'm curious how he learns how to conceal it. Do you have this on Whattpad? If so I would follow you on there to keep reading this because everything will be scratched when the new site takes over. Thank you for letting me read this.

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about 1 month ago Reiga said:

Yay finally a new chapter !!!! Thank u !!!! Keep up the good work! XD

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2 months ago Dani Scarlett said:

The story is really interesting and has a very creative concept! But I would have preferred for the story to unfold more naturally without the need for the backstories. For example, situations could have been made where the reader learns just a little bit about Raito each time, as opposed to having to explain. Also I think writing from Raito's perspective would have made me feel closer to him and like I was there growing with him throughout the story. A lot of the more technical stuff has already been brought up. Other than that, you have a really enjoyable story.

Jasper2

3 months ago Jasper Whalen said:

Second sentence is a fragment Third sentence is passive voice Fourth sentence is a fragment Lots of typos… All in all this reads like a first draft. Exclamation points are overused. You alternate between past and present tense. I’m sorry but I can’t read this when my immersion is constantly broken.

Reviews(21)

Me silly hat

about 1 month ago Hannah Rose said:

Sorry it has taken me so long to review this! This is my review on chapter one.

I am interested in Raito's childish attitude towards being a super hero. His action packed dream about being a super hero, in addition to his excited, childlike reaction to being told he has a super power, builds his ambitious personality.

The narrator takes a personal tone, by giving commentary like, “the way he found out is what makes this story more interesting”, and explaining Flights character and actions in way other than dialogue and action. I think this is an interesting approach. I would suggest the narrator should establish this approach earlier on. It seems to pop up out of no where with the sentence I mention above, but that is just a suggestion. I would also suggest you carry out the dialogue between Flight and Raito more, instead of having the narrator explain the conversation.

I like how you build up the comic store's atmosphere. Mentioning the smell was a good touch, but I would suggest saying what it exactly smelled like, or why Raito didn't like the smell.

The intensity at the end of the chapter, did a good job grabbing the readers interest. It makes me want to read the next chapter!

Again, sorry about how long it took me to review this. I've had a lot to do, and I didn't want to give a bad quality review, because I was short on time.

Brown haired blue eyed

about 1 month ago LeChevalierRoland said:

First off, I would like to say that I adored the manga-like feel in the beginning when Raito was dreaming. It felt so shounen >.< I also found it interesting how Raito is so affectionate with his parents. I love how Flight just scares the crud out of Raito in the bookstore! It was a great way to introduce the character. The idea of a Gift is very intriguing. It sounds very self-serving, but I can see how it can be used for good and how I assume Raito will use it.

Things to work on: The comma after “Raito” in the first sentence was not necessary. You also don’t need to use his name in the next sentence. A pronoun will do better. The same applies to the opponent in the following sentences. Check tenses throughout the piece.

Overall, I think you have a good plot. I think it needs editing and some revisions, but it’s a great start.