The Time Is Only Temporary

The Time Is Only Temporary

3 chapters / 1919 words

Approximately 10 minutes to read

Description:

This world is full of amazing, beautiful, scary and dangerous things. Emma has never been in dangerous situations or actually been in a war. And what kind of dark secret is her mother hiding? How could possibly, she could be involved in this war?

Genres:

Action, Mystery

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Reviews(6)

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3 days ago cress said:

hi there! This was an interesting spin on a classic trope. I like that instead of the "hero", the narrator is the one who is closed off, it's a good twist. It has great potential as a story and I will be keeping up with it! Just take care to make sure that every comma is needed. While reading I felt a bit bombarded with commas and pauses that interrupted the flow. Also, there were quite a few spelling errors as well. If you need a beta reader/proofreader/editor, I would be glad to help, just drop me a message on my wall and I'll give you my email!

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4 days ago Alexandra Turner said:

Hey, I really like the way you write. The tone and voice you use is something I love a lot and I would definitely keep that up. However, in that first chapter there was a lot of heavy back-story being dropped on us. I'd suggest littering short, snappy pieces of back-story throughout the book to make it easier to digest. The idea is very intriguing though. Also, I'd say that you need your first chapter to have a little more action in it. Maybe she encounters another bully as this inner monologue is happening? I'm not sure but either way well done. :)