1 chapter / 589 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read


A story arc.



3 months ago Kayla Amaro said:

I really enjoyed your writing style. And the idea to make the story go backwards is amazing. I wish I knew more about the man and the woman in the story, but the vagueness in this piece also adds its own sort of beauty to it. Great job!

Kelsey chow

3 months ago Nocturne said:

Wow... it all felt like a giant rewind, with all the pieces coming together smoothly. Though it was quite vague and brief, it was very poetic and beautiful. Well done :)



3 months ago SemperConspexeram said:

I have my comments as I went through so I'm going to go in the order of your story.

Resolution: -Well done, the contradictions make for very dramatic imagery and kept me from going outside the confines of the sentences. It's hard to tell how she died at this point, and judging by everything else, I assume that's on purpose. The confusion I had over what was happening coupled with the contradicting descriptions set the mood for the piece up very well. This was definitely one of the best death scenes I have read.

Falling: -"...rushes of thoughts fueled with panic." I had to repeat this sentence a few times to get it right, and because of that, it stopped the flow for me. I'd suggest wording it instead as "...rushes [with] thoughts fueled [by] panic." If that's not what you're going for, or you don't like it, feel free to ignore the suggestion.

-"...runs for their lives, for the end of hers." The "for" after the comma was what was catching in my mind. I'd suggest switching it with "to" so they're running ~for~ their lives ~towards~ the end of hers.

-Really good descriptions. Your voice and style in this piece fits the topic super well and I can honestly say I love it.

The Peak: -The comma after "waterfall" should be a colon.

-Good use of your space, the formatting worked really good. Definitely still loving the descriptions too.

Rising: -I have two words: Hells. Yes.

-I don't know how to describe why I liked this, but I read it and got one of those excited/giddy feelings you get when an author reveals something in a mystery and you find out that what you thought was right. I don't know why but this was super satisfying to me.

Exposition: -Beautiful cadence; it reads almost as poetry and I really love the tempo it had because of that. It's a completely different pace to the rest of your arc and it worked very well as both your ending, and your beginning.

Thank you for a good read!


3 months ago conlin.r said:

I really enjoy the idea of making the story appear to go back in time. It oddly reminds me of "Before I Fall," which I LOVE! Therefore, it is distilled in me to love "Arc" as well. I am not a very good critiquer (is that even a word?) like you are, so I am not very good at correcting. I just like to say what I think I absolutely adore about the book. I also enjoy when you use the line, "The words drip down her trembling lips" which is kinda mesmerizing to me. I love that type of stuff, so definitely do it again! Lol! So yeah, I really do enjoy this book! Keep it up!


btw...I wrote "Timekeepers with Secrets" a long time ago, back when I was in seventh grade, so I just published it for the heck of it. I am planning on updating it and fixing EVERYTHING and adding new chapters by August 28th. I've been working on it all summer long. So if by then, you are still interested, you can check it out if you want to! You really don't half to, but you can see how much it has drastically changed. LOL! Have a good evening/morning!