Sound of All

Sound of All

1 chapter / 220 words

Approximately 1 minute to read

Genres:

Writing

Comments(2)

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about 1 month ago Qwert Yuiopn said:

Hey, I love this writing, it's so well written! Just a few quick pointers: When you're talking about how the music has disappeared, you paint a good picture of the contrast of then and now, but you don't quite explain how it's different. I get that you'll cover that later in the story, but the complete absence of anything regarding this sense gives off the feeling that you're trying to explain a concept that you don't fully understand, which is not the case. Maybe just a small hint or too to give us an idea of where you're taking this to add to the suspense. I agree with Erin Rae in that it sounds a little too wordy. You'd be surprised at how far simple words choice can go! Overall, I think this is an excellence piece, and you should share a little more of the story with us! I can't wait to see it. Until then, keep writing! -QY

Heifer

about 1 month ago Erin Rae said:

Hi!

Your prologue was very well written and you packed a lot of emotion in such sort piece. Good job. You did a good job on drawing the reader in. You seem to be heading in the right direction with an original story and interesting plot. I'm really excited to see where you go with this story. You give enough information, but not too much that I feel like I read the whole story in the prologue. I noticed a few sentence fragments that made the story awkward to read at times. I would suggest reading your story out loud, and try not to make your writing "too wordy."

Otherwise, you have a very well written prologue on your hands. I am excited to read the first chapter! Keep writing, Erin.

Reviews(2)

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about 1 month ago beatriz87 said:

Wonderfully written! I’m deeply impressed by your ability to draw me in so easily and to bring me this feeling of wanting to know where this story is going. It definitely gives me ‘The Giver’ vibes, which is awesome because I love that book.

What I like most is that you’re giving your story an original flair with the music theme. Your writing is effective and simple, yet filled with a sort of haunting edge. I can tell your story will lead to edge-of-your-seat suspense and interest, which I love.

There were only a few things I think you might want to look over, like in the second sentence of your second paragraph. The word ‘quite’ would sound a little better if it were placed after ‘realize.’ Also, in the first sentence of your last paragraph, you might want to add a comma after ‘to the untrained eye.’ The sentence itself is a little awkward, what with the use of the word ‘world’ three times. You can change it if you’d like, but it’s not entirely necessary.

Of course, these are extremely minor issues and can be fixed with a quick read-through. I don’t think they take away from the story and probably wouldn’t bother most people.

All in all, there are so many possibilities to your prologue and I can’t wait to see where you take it! Please keep writing; you have an enviable talent for it and I know you can go far :)

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2 months ago Carson Sandell said:

I love how your started the beginning with a question. It drags the reader in instantly. It was a short piece and would love to see more of where this is going. Music is prevalent throughout all times in history. Nothing to improve on it's great the way it is and it's very insightful. I hope to read more of your work. Good job keep up the work. :)