The Red Scarf: Poetry Novella

The Red Scarf: Poetry Novella

11 chapters / 1403 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

But . . . but Mummy would never leave”

“If she could have stopped it, I know she would have, Hannah”

“No . . . NO! I refuse to believe Mummy did that”

“Hannah, please, you need to understand, she couldn’t have stopped it.”

Genres:

Writing, Poetry

Comments(1)

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about 1 month ago Qwert Yuiopn said:

Great poem, I love it! It's really amazing how you bring out the sadness in someone losing their mother. A few quick pointers: First, especially in the first chapter, there is a lot of 'the' used. Particularly in poetry, you need to be careful with word choice, and make sure it doesn't get too bland or have articles take up too much space. Adding to that, I would recommend you add a little more vivid description in the scenes and emotions. Paint of picture using excellent word choice and unique phrases, and your golden! Keep writing! -QY

Reviews(3)

All magic comes with a price

about 1 month ago E.W. Hemmings said:

Here's my thoughts on the rest of your work:

ANOTHER PLACE - This is a nice concept and one of the better poems in terms of the theme. - The ending doesn't make masses of sense. She still refused to... what?

REFUSAL - The second half of this poem is particularly awesome.

HIDE AND SEEK - Awwww.... what an original, beautiful concept! - I like your use of short line lengths here as well; it helps the poem flow a lot better. Maybe you can try it with the other ones too?

HOUSE OF MEMORIES - The first stanza is beautiful! This is the kind of originality I'm talking about! - I rather like how, towards the end, your stanzas get shorter as your protagonist breaks down emotionally. You can have quite a good way with form, you know!

COMPLETE - Maybe split the first line into two for extra impact? - I would also start a new stanza with the line about unlocking the box as you're changing topic.

Well done for this! Keep writing!

All magic comes with a price

about 1 month ago E.W. Hemmings said:

I've read half of the poems so far, (for longer works I tend to do them in chunks)and while I still think you have some work to do you've definitely made a good start, and I do think you have potential for sure. You have a good sense of emotion in your work too, which is essential for both the topic you're writing about and for poetry in general. The idea of a 'poetry novella' is a pretty unique one as well, so I applaud you for doing something a bit different.

I would say the main thing you need to do to improve your work is to sort out some of those clichéd phrases which have found their way into the poems. I'm talking phrases such as 'I wish I had a time machine' - try and be more creative with your language so it becomes more unique and you can express emotion in a more complex way than what you are currently doing. You can definitely do it, there were some particularly nice little phrases in these poems as well, especially in 'Happiness' with lines like 'forever stained with the rain of the present'. You can do it! Just do it more!

Anyway, I'll be back to read the second half soon. Keep writing, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on Page 105! :)