1 chapter / 412 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read




There aren't any comments just yet. You should be the first to .



6 days ago Cora Harris said:

Besides the impending existential crisis I'm about to have, I really love this piece. I love how the protagonist and the frog almost become one in the end, both needing a new environment. One thing I would love is a description of what type of terrain they are in. Is the sun disappearing behind a mountain? Are the protagonist and the frog standing in a grassy plain or are they near the ocean? I could visualize any of those places and this piece would still be very beautiful. You can tell the protagonist has thought about the need to grow up before and this small moment of a frog on his foot means a lot to him. Also from this need to grow up, I saw the protagonist as young, maybe 18, just on the cusp of adulthood. I think if you shared some details about the protagonist's face or body, you could subtlety show how old your character is. I really love how your protagonist shows that he doesn't want to grow up, not yet. This is an excellent piece!


6 days ago Kayleigh Gould said:

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! I think the description of the bridge could use some work. Maybe describe how rickety and unstable it was when the narrator went across it. As for your description of the sunset, I loved it. Your description of the colors. How you called the sun a citrus disk. Personally I love sunsets so that might be why I liked this so much. I also thought opening on the frog was an interesting choice. As you only mention him the once. Going in I thought the piece was going to be about him, but I was pleasantly surprised.