beach

beach

1 chapter / 445 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read

Genres:

Writing

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6 days ago Landon said:

I love the way you described this scene. I can imagine the beach very vividly, it is almost as if I am there. The little details like the sand falling in between the creases of your feet for example are well written. A comment I would make is that I would take out phrases such as "Using your sense of touch you..." Using your imagination you...". I feel like it takes away from the story. I was also a little confused as to how the character can see a sunken ship, how far under the water is she? is it a diver? -scratch that it was all a dream. I like how you ended it, the whole scene was a dream. Maybe describe a little more about how the person woke up, for example "Waking up, out of breath and submerged in your own sweat you realized the entire day was a dream." Overall I really did like, your description is well written.