The Lousy Shirt

The Lousy Shirt

1 chapter / 321 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read




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8 days ago Madison Prien said:

Hey Allison! I thought this piece was very cute, and with its finite descriptions of the weaning polo shirt it was also quite mesmerizing in its presentation in something as simple as an old shirt that needs to be replaced. The details about the lining strips that encase the shirt and the patterns of the lines meeting to make a pattern showcase your handling of deep imagery and your ability to make me in my mind vividly see the fraying shirt. I also like the presentation of color in the piece with the use white and blue that represent virginity and innocence, when obviously this shirt has been used to great extent. In terms of mood, I find it to be a delightful read about something as simple as a shirt with a twist at the end that switches from details to having the narrator realize that they might need a new shirt. Overall a great piece with imagery that allows the reader to see the shirt in their minds and imagine what it would be like.


8 days ago Hunter Woodall said:

Your descriptions at the beginning are good, but I'm not sure if they're all necessary. It helps to focus in on painting the picture of the important things. Good job describing the polo shirt. I liked the part about the horse standing on two legs. She must be really into this shirt. I like the way you use colors, giving them cool adjectives and synonyms. The red vine analogy was interesting as well. The ending line made me chuckle. This was a pretty funny way to describe such a minuscule thing in such great detail. It's like how the mind really works, all thoughts included. Nice writing.