Fix Your Damn Hair

Fix Your Damn Hair

12 chapters / 7040 words

Approximately 35 minutes to read

Description:

Michelle was raised to be perfect and proper and never spoke of things uncomfortable or uneccasary. But when her world is torn apart by drunken lust, she isn't sure how to save herself in a world where everything is perfect. (unfinished) Copyright © Jane Ippolito

Genres:

Drama, Horror, Romance

Comments(16)

V__3eec

almost 4 years ago Jo said:

I'd actually love if you finished this and notified me when you did!!

Spongebob

almost 6 years ago Ashley said:

i need the acess code too

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almost 6 years ago Lindey Carlson said:

Gosh darnit I need the access code!

Hippie vampire

almost 6 years ago Amelia Dogwood said:

This is amazingness! I wanna read more!!!

Reviews(2)

Hgkjugk

almost 6 years ago Kira Jones said:

TOTALLY AMAZING! I definitely want to read more of this! Only little confusing thing was when she was first walking home after being raped she said there was mascara streaming down her face but then later she said she hadn't worn makeup before. Was that just saying that it was one of the things like the few cloths she had in her bag or was it a mistake or what? But it was a little confusing. Other then that wonderful and I wanna read more!

Xx coexist

about 6 years ago m.j. said:

Alright, this was an amazing and realistic story, there were just a few [extremely minor!] mistakes.

There are quite a few typos. A few I recall are caffeine, sophomore, permanent, and would've. [I'm a total spelling/grammar Nazi]

Chapter two might benefit from being chopped into paragraphs. I know sometimes it's hard to find the right spot to break it off, but even one stop will help a bit since it's just a solid block of text.

The way the rapist feels remorse after taking Michelle's virginity is very realistic, the reader can almost feel his emotions. [This is praise, by the way, in case you're wondering what exactly I'm critiquing here.]

"Skirt's and dresses were made shorter and anything..."

There shouldn't be an apostrophe in skirts.

In the title of chapter seven, thief is misspelled.

~~~

It was an AWESOME story, and I'd love for you to write more so I can see where it goes. Don't let my review make you think I didn't like it... Because, well, I didn't like it. I LOVED it.