Irene

Irene

2 chapters / 567 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

A girl is running away. From her family, her status, her life.
From her current self. She's desperate to change who she is, and to find what she knows she's missing. Joy.

Comments(8)

Things which are definitely uncalled for

about 6 years ago InsertImaginativeNameHere said:

Brilliant! I love this story so much. I need to know what's going on!!!

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about 6 years ago Lizinie Lewis said:

:D Ohmahgoodness! Thank you everyone! I wish Figment let you KNOW when people commented and reviewed! I would have continued this sooner! Really, this was a one chapter thing, but maybe I'll continue it. c: Thanks for the support guys, it makes me so happy! And saeglopur, yes, I do that a lot. xD I'll try to fix it! Thanks for the advice :D!

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over 6 years ago Rosetta Simon said:

I like this story so far, the sentence fragments are a nice touch, and I hope you keep writing it!

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over 6 years ago Leah de Roy said:

This was an example of really great writing - you really forced me to feel as though I was part of the story, which is a good thing! (Especially since this piece was so short, yet very effective all the same.) Great job, and I look forward to reading more.

Reviews(1)

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over 6 years ago saeglopur said:

From a quick read of this I noticed that you change your tenses a lot. Most writers write in past tense but you can write in whatever tense you want, though its easier read in past as well but that tense has to be maintained throughout the whole piece. You can't go back and forth from "She runs" to "It ripped" Does that make sense?

Also the Farther. Further. Faster. part, I don't really think that worked. I mean if it was Farther. Faster. ______ It would work but Farther and Further is the same word different tense really, so I would find a new word to replace that.

And finally, I think there was a part where it was Away,away,away. I think that was the word. Doesn't really matter, the point is is that you should have wrote it: away, away, away, with spaces.