Camelot Chicks

Camelot Chicks

17 chapters / 25077 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

Max and Rose are two very different girls living in the olden kingdom of Camelot. Max is an orphan who's headstrong, and tough as nails, while Rose is more gentle and primped from a life of high society.
But these two opposites have more in common than they thought. And can do more than they ever thought physically possible.
Aided by teen Prince Arthur and his best friend, Merlin, Max and Rose must work together to save the kingdom from a raging sorcerer bent on destroying Camelot for good.
And try to discover the destiny that intertwines their lives forever.
**i am aware that my language is not always on point with the time, im currently editing that, so just try to ignore it for now. thanks :)**

Comments(48)

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almost 4 years ago Anna Browne said:

I like the idea and the title is what got me to click on it, but it is very tell-y, with little detail and intrigue. I feel like you are jumping around as if you're a lost rabbit. Cute idea, but expand! Scenery/setting, appearance, emotion -- description and detail are so important, and this piece really craves and needs it.

-Annabella

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over 4 years ago Dee Bacon said:

please read "how life should be,roger" by dee bacon and her other books

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over 4 years ago Dee Bacon said:

hey follow me Dee Bacon trying to get my books sold and published!

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almost 5 years ago Sharon H said:

oh my goodness would you please continue!!! I absolutely love this story!! :D My fave character is Max and I especially love the scenes with her and Merlin and how they rub off on each other!! Please please continue!! :D

Reviews(6)

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about 6 years ago Grace B. Keppel said:

Love the story idea, I'd like to see more. But you might want to take a look at the first chapter again, there's a couple of sentence that don't make sense.

And though they did curse back then, you might want to change your words to fit the time period better.

Oh, and I looked up the definition of warlock. It's a MAN that practices dark arts. So you might want to change that particular use of the word in your story.:)

I still loved it!

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about 6 years ago Angel said:

All right, finished! Again, sorry that this took forever for me to get to. I've just been pretty busy lately.

Anyways, to your story. As the previous reviewer stated, this was a really interesting idea for a story, and the writing itself showed a whole lot of promise. I really enjoyed reading this! :3

I would only recommend a couple things:

-Flesh out the character of Rose more. Her character kind of changes from extremely stuck up and annoying to nice and kind, among other things. As a result, Max "outshines" her as a narrator.

-I would also suggest looking through your story for examples of dialogue that doesn't exactly match the time period. Stuff like "okay", or just the way the women act towards men should be slightly altered. :)

All and all, I really enjoyed this. It was an entertaining story, just needs some work! Great job!