almost 6 years ago Danielle said:

You definately should write more! Do you watch NCIS, if you do is this like a spin-off?


over 6 years ago Jarvis said:

Oh, a political story. I find these to be either dull or awesome, and your first chapter veers on dull. Add some kickbutt action, and this will be a super-cool story.


over 6 years ago Rich Larson said:

Hard to say much at this point. It's a pretty typical open, evocative of innumerable CSI shows and detective books. I suppose the Airforce thing is an interesting twist on it. I'll have more to say when there's more written.

Keep at it! -Rich

Tifa eyes2

over 6 years ago Account Moved said:

This sounds so professional! I absolutely love the tiny seemingly insignificant details-but they're not insignificant at all. They bring the whole scene to life! Great start, and I can't wait for the next chapter.


There aren't any reviews just yet. You should be the first to .