Lost Rhapsody

Lost Rhapsody

3 chapters / 2365 words

Approximately 12 minutes to read

Description:

When A young boy wakes up with no memory of anything, and the fate of the world rests upon him, what will he do?

Genres:

Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

Comments(19)

Kevbrekker

about 1 year ago Sia Mose said:

Write. Who's that girl? Who on Earth is Cecil? A god or something?

Jueda_transpacifica

over 6 years ago Ami Chan said:

Hmmm interesting. I love your cover as the idea of music. But so far it just seems random. I'm hoping you tie it all together in the end!

Avatar

over 6 years ago Frances Pike said:

Nice descriptions. Sometimes the dialogue is a little clunky. I really like the cat. :)

Catherine2

over 6 years ago Katherine the Great said:

I actually read two chapters 'cause I really wanted to know what was gonna happen! The characters in this are perfect! And the description is just the right amount (I have a bit of an issue with going over the top with my descriptions, so I appreciate how hard it can be to tone it down!) Great work!

Reviews(3)

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over 6 years ago kyla denae said:

Interesting. Your concept seems quite interesting. However, your execution could be improved. First of all, your dialogue is very stilted. It doesn't seem real. By times it's too formal, by times it just sounds silly. What helps me in writing dialogue is reading it out loud to myself. How would this sound if it were me and a couple friends saying this?

Next, I'm not sure what time this fits into. You have hypodermic needles and heeled boots in the same story. You need to figure out in what time you want this story to land, and stick with it, because it's quite confusing. So basically, to make a very long review shorter, you need to work on cleaning up your writing so it sounds natural and not forced.

You have an excellent idea here. I loved the details of the cat and how it keeps showing up, and how Gideon and Cecil interact. Your characterization is wonderful. :))

Flower

over 6 years ago Alina T. said:

First the critiques: I would like to see the first dream Cecil has with more description. If you purposely made it so that there isn't much description, then put in the emotion he feels. I think the priest saying that he hopes Cecil doesn't have any allergies seems a little out of place-- maybe you could take that part out. There are a few spelling mistakes, I would suggest re-reading the piece or using spell check. Now for the good! I like your description, and I like the way the priest reacts unusually to some things Cecil does. It gives him added depth. Nice story idea! Can't wait to read more.