Halfway to Whenever

Halfway to Whenever

32 chapters / 6489 words

Approximately 32 minutes to read

Description:

This is an adventure novel done in a frenzy. It is my goal to edit and improve this novel to the point that it will be a good book. The first 10,000 were done for NaNoWriMo and the other 40,000 were written in two weeks. I do not expect this to be good or well written and I know that it needs to be spellchecked at least five more times. Hope it is enjoyable to read and you get a laugh out of my typos.

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(14)

Unknown

over 6 years ago Ella B said:

Very good! Makes me want to read more!

Artworkm

over 6 years ago Mariah Amplexi Lindburg said:

Most of it isn't up for reading and I only fixed to first chapter so the rest might not be to good.

Img_0910

over 6 years ago Isaac G-S said:

Hurriedly instead of horridly (though actually I don't think you need to say both hurriedly and rushed) Okay, so with that one thing out of the way...This was really cool! I liked how you started with a bang and then eased into the character. My only worry is that the initial confusion will lose most readers. Other than that, great piece. If only I had the time to read all of it...

Blue flower

over 6 years ago Emily Shelton said:

That was really interesting. I only read the first chapter, and it kind of confused me.... but I'm easily confused :)Its really amazing! Definitely keep working on editing it.

Reviews(14)

Triforcewhitess

almost 5 years ago Purpley Durpley said:

one word. AMAZING. hey everybody! read this right now :)

The rose amazon cover

over 6 years ago Anna-Louise said:

Okay so as you are helping me I thought it only fair to help you in return. It's a nice story and I can see that it's well thought through and that you have big plans for it however somethings could be improved. I won't go into grammar because you know I'm rubbish at that so I will leave that to others people. Your first chapter was good but I feel that you put too much description into. The reader does not need to know every single little thing that your character does and putting it all there make it drag a little. Just as a suggestion you could probably shorten her name when it is written and not said because it's rather a mouthfull/brainfull. I would also suggest breking up your paragraphs a bit more just to make it easier to read. Somethings are a little vague. The reader doesn't know that she has lost her memory till halfway through the chapter and they know very little about her from the outset. Try to add in a little of, maybe, what she looks like etc just so the reader can understand her and picture her better. One last thing is that in your second chapter the speech sound far too formal and forced - it doesn't quite fit and honestly made me feel quite uncomfortable reading it. Just try to loosen it a little. For instance if some one were to ask your name you wouldn't really start with 'My name is...' you would just say your name. It things like that that just need to be changed because right now the dialogue seems to made up rather than natural. I know that was long, but I really think it would improve it (for me at least). This definitely has potential but you just need to read it over. :)