Totally Legit

Totally Legit

1 chapter / 2217 words

Approximately 11 minutes to read

Description:

Bowie Allen is...
1. controlled by her 80's loving mum
2. made complete with the presence of mega-hot Nolan Moore
3. terrorized by her psychotic labradoodle
4. sent on a mission to find the hottest secret club in town
5. British, Blonde, and backwards
6. and Totally legit

Genres:

Writing, Comedy, Romance

Comments(6)

Mark of athena

about 5 years ago Scarlette French said:

Oh, awesome cover btw!!!

Mark of athena

about 5 years ago Scarlette French said:

Haha, that's funny and simple. I wish it had a bit more depth, but it was actually really nice! :) Great job!

8viqr_1

almost 6 years ago Flippant Flapper said:

I like it, but it's a little cliche. Still good. I wonder if Nolan-whats-his-name'll end up with the main character, though?

Keep us updated.

S30

almost 6 years ago Wave Hallowique said:

This is hilarious. Great job! Though there are some grammar mistakes, the story is simply fantastic. You keep the narration and dialogue in balance, which is great. But just a last piece of advice, if this is not a short story, I recommend you breaking it into a few chapters, so that it's easier to look in detail and take in all the important parts. So far, so good. ;)

Reviews(1)

Me3

almost 6 years ago Deserae McGlothen said:

Review Summary: -Story exemplifies the best of Louis Rennison’s Georgia Nicholson series and perfects it -The characters are swoon worthy AND real - Wonderful narrative voice and an excellent start to what I hope turns out to be a wonderful read! - WORTH A HEART

GRADE: A- leaning toward A (Excellent and definitely recommended to watch)

TOTALLY LEGIT is just that. TOTALLY legit. I hardly have the words to describe how happy I am to have read this piece. And seriously: I don’t gush often. I want to start out by saying that maybe I am just enamored because first chapters can be like that. They look glossy and perfect and the characters seem awesome and there aren’t any plot holes… And because chapter one was all this project had, I gave it an A-. But I loved it so much that I will be back to review it again when there’s more to it. And trust me when I say that Bowie Allen will probably be able to raise that A- without a problem just because of how the author handles her and this story. Agh! I loved it!

Let’s start with the beauty contest thing. Cover and pitch. I’m telling you right now that I’m a shallow, shallow soul, and although you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, I freaking always do. And when I saw the a) title, b) cover, and read the c) pitch, I automatically sent this author a message saying how excited I was to read this project. And it did not disappoint. Not at all.

Gah. The perspective was just THE ONLY WAY I could’ve fallen in love with this project. Bowie has a great narrative voice. Bowie IS an excellent narrator. I just… I can’t get over it. We’re whisked away to England, but we feel at home because BOWIE is just so… so… The chick is freaking awesome, okay? No… it’s not just her… These characters--- all of the characters, seriously--- are so vibrant, they make the story pop and come alive. The quirkiness of it all really put me in their world. And their world is radiating yellows and oranges, sunshine and lollipops, 80s pop culture and British terminology, craziness and a little bit of sanity. If you’re like me and a fan of Louise Rennison’s ANGUS, THONGS, AND FULL FRONTAL SNOGGING (and the nine other chronicles of Georgia Nicholson’s life), you’ll love TOTALLY LEGIT. Because it’s the BEST of that world. And then it’s something a little bit better.

The story had its flaws, though. The nitpicky kind… We start out with an avalanche of mum, but the British lingo for the most part is woven in naturally other than that. We are introduced to most of the characters nicely, but that paragraph with Bowie’s name’s backstory could be reworked so that it doesn’t sound like “oh by the way”-ish (I can see how, but I refuse to tell the author how without their permission). There’s a slight back and forth between verb tenses that the author should watch in the future (must decide! Is Bowie telling this presently? Or in past tense?). There’re sentences that need line editing. Words that might fit better…

But overall? There weren’t any major things that pulled me out of Bowie’s head. And everything (except her name history) was said at the perfect time; every action was executed and explained as if in real time. And the Doctor Who reference ALONE should be worth a heart (TARDIS parking here. OMG!!!!). Keep your eye on this one. I personally can’t wait for more. I have high hopes that the rest of the story lives up to my initial enthusiasm for this project. The plot SOUNDS fun, but we all know execution is another story. Still, I’m not deterred. In fact, I say bring it on.

Squee! (Read: Awesome job, Author) Deserae McGlothen