I love the line "deep down under I let my heart drop into this abyss of nothing". Use of the word abyss just makes it that much more mysterious and hopeless sounding.
I enjoyed (extremely) the imagery and wording. Use more punctuation! It will help the reader follow through the poem with more intensity that the situation described calls for.
Favorite line: "[Not knowing] Who to hold with these broken arms and legs"
Keep at it! I am going to read more from you. I enjoy your writing.
Comments(9)
5 months ago Laurie Elizabeth Bohne said:
Thank you all very much. I am glad you enjoyed it!
7 months ago Ruby Jewel said:
Wow this was beautifully poetic with lovely images. I really enjoyed reading it.
over 2 years ago Laurie Elizabeth Bohne said:
Thank you so so much :)
over 2 years ago mollie wohlforth said:
I love the line "deep down under I let my heart drop into this abyss of nothing". Use of the word abyss just makes it that much more mysterious and hopeless sounding.
Reviews(1)
10 months ago DecemberRayne_H.J.D.S said:
I enjoyed (extremely) the imagery and wording. Use more punctuation! It will help the reader follow through the poem with more intensity that the situation described calls for. Favorite line: "[Not knowing] Who to hold with these broken arms and legs" Keep at it! I am going to read more from you. I enjoy your writing.