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Approximately 1 minute to read
May tells her story to young Dove and Sun.
about 5 years ago Madeleine said:
over 3 years ago Natalie Johnston said:
I think this is off to a good enough start, but it needs a lot of work and improvement, especially grammatically. When you have a good story, sometimes it's overlooked, clouded from sight in errors. Try to fix the minor typos before you continue, because I promise you if you send this to a publisher they will immediately see you as an amateur who needs a lot of work before they are ready to publish because of the errors.
Other than that, keep writing, and try to build something off of this story. I know you'd much rather get the "wow, this is amazing!!" comment, but if you want to get better take advice, no matter how much you hate it.