Fairest

Fairest

1 chapter / 720 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read

Description:

She's desperate to be called the fairest by the looking-glass... even if it's a lie.

Comments(15)

Anne spree

about 6 years ago Anne Spree said:

Amazing! You should definitely write more! :D

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about 6 years ago Darren said:

Woah, I am incredibly impressed by the way you paint the main character in the story! it's so powerful... And the writing is excellent. Kudos to you. :)

Shadow2

about 6 years ago A.J. Prince said:

Misse, wow, this is such a great start! What an interesting idea, telling it from the evil step mother's point of view. "I am as you are to me." is such a haunting phrase, it fits perfectly. I can't wait to finish this- let me know if/when you do! Great job!

Dsc01111

about 6 years ago N.R. Encarnacion said:

Wow...this is friggin' good! Fantastic even! I wasn't so sure what you could accomplish in about 700 words, because I think the fantasy prompt is a bit too hard, but you did it! You created a perfect prequel to an existing fairytale! I love it...I would never have imagined what you wrote. I just wished you elaborated more--or no, it's perfect--I'm not really sure, but I really do love it! Good luck, and nice work:) This definitely has potential.

Reviews(1)

Scott and tessa

about 6 years ago Ariella Ivashkov said:

Hi Misse! First off, I want to thank you for reading "Dare You Trust Me?" and giving the most thoughtful comment I've seen so far. I'll be sure to make that change as soon as I can. Now for "Fairest"...

Honestly? I loved it. I loved that the looking-glass morphs into its holder's persona, whether it be lovely or hideous. I love the vivid description of the looking-glass and how Adriane tries to cruelly wrench the jewels from their place. Your word choice is spot-on (something I really appreciate), and your writing has great flow as well. I wonder if it'd be neat if you gradually transitioned from calling Adriane by her name to "the Queen," which sounds more cold and removed (ooh ahh). You don't have to, but it's something you could try.

The only part I didn't quite understand was the last scene starting with, "Once upon a time, a girl entered the room..." I don't think I quite picked up on who this girl is. Is it a stranger? Or the Queen herself? And why is the Queen watching this scene unfold from behind a curtain?

Overall, this story rocks! I look forward to reading more of your writings (: