The Homer

The Homer

1 chapter / 85 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Description:

A true event about my 8th grade expierience playing baseball in the field behind my old school.

Genres:

Writing, Poetry, Sports

Comments(7)

219-doctor-who-tardis-talking-keksdose

almost 5 years ago Feli said:

Love this. :)

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over 5 years ago Brooke Fraiz said:

Wow nice work! :) I loved this and your descriptions! I think that do far it's great, I would love to read more! :)

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over 5 years ago Sakura Nakada said:

i like the simplicity of the narrative, how the 8th grader in you is telling the story, and not an older version of you (i hope this makes sense). It's also very cute, but in a sad sort of way...

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over 5 years ago IzzyFizzy said:

I like it!

Reviews(3)

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almost 6 years ago Loretta Reuben said:

I like that this poem tells a story. I feel like it could use a little more umph, a little more emotion; it feels kind of dry to me. How does the narrator feel as all of this is happening? I really like the idea of telling a story of childhood pride; I think it's a great theme for a poem. I'd just love to see more imagery and more emotion with it. =)

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almost 6 years ago Kathryn said:

I haven't read a lot of sports poems so it's nice to see a poem about sports floating about. I enjoyed how your poem told the reader a story about your experience playing baseball in 8th grade. I wouls suggest spicing things up though. You have a simple style going but at times it veers close to become bland and boring. Switch out nervous with shaking, or sweating. Or tell the reader how it felt to run across all the plates to score a homerun. Adding some more adjectives to this poem will really enhance it.

Good poem! Peace and love!