Insomnia

Insomnia

1 chapter / 2237 words

Approximately 11 minutes to read

Description:

PROFANITY WARNING!!!!!! Eriol has insomnia and his friend Kain keeps him company until he can sleep. But then a bomb is dropped *dun dun dun!* Cover by my mother, the great Empress Salina Lopez!

Comments(19)

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about 5 years ago Lali Sinead said:

Simply amazing! Would love to read more of this it is very interesting.

Santacruzme

over 5 years ago Trina Elisabeth said:

For some reason Eriol reminds me a little of Holden from Catcher in the Rye. He was awesome and a little less rambling and more intelligible. Great story, really...it'd be awesome if you wrote more about the two of them ;) Haha.

Adventure-time-with-finn-and-jake

about 6 years ago G. Gómez said:

The voice is very interesting even though the character is kind of whiny because he's also interesting. I've never read a story about insomnia with a character like that.

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about 6 years ago Artemis Nihil said:

Oh wow, I really loved this. You managed to create a complex and powerful relationship in a really short story. You did a really good job of describing the situation. you gave a lot of details, but not unnecessary ones, which I don't always find in young people's writing. I could easily see this being published a ta professional level. I don't know if you're planning to continue with this, but if you are, I would definitely keep reading.

Reviews(3)

Disneyprincess

about 6 years ago Amme Forever said:

For the rest of it, I don't have much critique, it was excellent. Good ending too. :) P.S. Ah,m they cut my review in half!!!

Disneyprincess

about 6 years ago Amme Forever said:

Cool! I like the language you use in this, but the beginning, all the cusses kind of get away with the story. You can understand he's mad, but after reading all of them it kind of gets old. The last line of the paragraph is really nice, the "pop pain pills like they're candy" part, which almost cancels out the annoying cursing. (You don't have to listen to me. I just hate it when people curse a ton.) But of course leave in some of the 'Shit!' and stuff, because it really says the personality of the character, so good job on those points.