Transfixed

Transfixed

1 chapter / 309 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read

Tags:

Comments(12)

Screenshot_2015-11-10-23-15-51[1]

over 4 years ago Carlos Ordaz said:

This was very suspenseful and tense your attention to details and your use of sensory details make this story pop. You paint a vivid picture with your writing. You have a talent

Tumblr_mgqsvkhtlo1rk7du5o1_500

over 4 years ago Eva Ray said:

Wow! This was amazing to read, I pictured everything so clearly in my head. Well done! I loved it. x

Gethurtprofpic1

over 4 years ago TheHalf-Light said:

I love the imagery of this and the idea of the ocean calling. Towards the end, the grammar got a little muddled, and you got a bit repetitive, especially with "distinguished". Otherwise, I really enjoyed this! KH

Figment

over 4 years ago Emma Tappe said:

Haha Thank you Lydia. :)

Reviews(4)

1393066730235

over 4 years ago Twilight Stevens said:

I warn you, I'm really not very good at reviewing but here it goes...

Firstly your character developement was awesome and your attention to detail and description-although it could be improved-was very good considering the word limit. It was overall amazingly written and greatly conveyed. Well done xoxox

000_2813

over 4 years ago Garima Gupta said:

I don't think I can match the review you gave me, but I did really enjoy this. It was unique and different. I loved the ending of this; it was powerful and left me wanting to read more. Your imagery and descriptions were spot on. Everything flowed together beautifully, kind of like a poem. My only critique is that I felt a lot of your sentences were short and unvaried, so I would change up the sentence structure a bit. Overall though, fantastic work!