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Approximately about 1 hour to read
When Princess Alianne is murdered, the already unstable country of Khamir erupts. Never gonna be finished.
almost 5 years ago Tyanna J Snider said:
Your a great descriptor! You make us (the reader) feel as though we are in the story which is very hard to accomplish! Great job! Can't wait to read the third chapter!
about 5 years ago Mermaid Annabella said:
Intriguing! I like your descriptions and detail; very well-written :) Critique: "Silent now she mentioned." There should be a comma after "Silent now" :)
about 5 years ago Joanne Curtis said:
More, more! I like it!
about 5 years ago e. j. mcdaddecock said:
I just want to say that there is an actual book called Deep and Dark and Dangerous...It's really good and so was yours!
about 5 years ago Hannah Sproch said:
This is a very interesting idea, and your descriptions are great! Your voice really sets the time that it take place, which I congratulate you on. I'm not very skilled at making my characters have accents or making the time period obvious. Oh, and your names are just awesome. :)
I'm curious, are you eventually going to publish this? It's a great story, so you should, but I have to warn you about the name. I have actually read a story called "Deep and Dark and Dangerous" by Mary Downing Hawn a few years back. It's pretty famous, considering that I read it due to the fact that it was nominated for an award. So, maybe you want to change one of the words? Perhaps replace dangerous with deadly? Or delirious? I don't know, I'm just trying to think of words that start with D... Dank?
I'm sorry, I don't mean to rain on your parade, especially not on Christmas, but I just wanted to tell you before you got too attached to the title. I know that it would make me upset, especially if I've been working on something or a while. It's such a cool title too! :( I love the story, though. The poor princess! I LOVE the way you describe her, in the first chapter and through other characters in later ones. :) And the first two sentences of chapter 4, they are just so...blunt. Which is just plain awesome. I don't know why, but I really like the intro to that character. ;) Another cool name, too. You are such a genius when it comes to names. It takes me hours to come up with barely sufficient one, let alone such epic ones you do.
I hope you add more soon! :D
over 5 years ago Emily Grayceson said:
Wow. This is an interesting story line, in a good way. Its very dramactic and has a lot of darkness, the good kind. Kinda like dark chocolate, for lack of terms. The descriptions are very clear and concise. Overall a very VERY good read :)