Doug's Ice Cream Shop

Doug's Ice Cream Shop

3 chapters / 2614 words

Approximately 13 minutes to read

Description:

Not finished yet. summary-14 year old Caroline is so done with her mother and her constent whining. She'd do just about anything to avoid spending long periods of time at her house. She gets a job at Dougs Ice cream shop in order to get away from her life but instead shes forced to face it. The only thing that makes her summer worth while is cole with his dazzling smile and bright eyes he just might be the one to sink her, or save her.

Genres:

Writing, Romance, Novel

Comments(14)

Paul 3

almost 6 years ago Papa Paul said:

I liked the intro alot, it sucked you into the story. You have a bit of problems with grammar every here and there but it's nothing too bad. Overall I liked it. The characters were likable and the descriptions were nice. Great work! Keep writing and good luck!

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almost 6 years ago Haylie Wood said:

This is very interesting, I like the plot behind it. The only thing that distracted me was that it was littered with grammar and spelling mistakes. BUT! Not to fret, because I'm sure a quick re-read could get rid of all that stuff. :) Very nicely done!

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about 6 years ago Evaline Age said:

Interesting start :) The dialogue was good and definitely kept the piece moving. Just watch out for commas, in some sentences, you really need them!

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about 6 years ago M.H. said:

This is amazing. I really love it, great job!

Reviews(2)

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about 6 years ago Kirsten said:

Very interesting concept, and I liked how the characters interacted with each other. However, it needs a few things really badly. 1. A good proofread. You have way too many grammar, spelling, and word usage errors in this piece to to anything with it. I suggest you go over it again or get a friend to do it for you. 2. More context. The last chapter was way too short. There was no detail. It was all buildup and no conclusion. What was up with Caroline's mother? How was the summer at the ice cream shop? What was so special about it? These are questions we want answered. 3. The characters aren't very deep. Cole is just a description, Caroline's mom doesn't seem real, and everyone is just a little dry. That's it. Good job all around, and keep up the great work!

Disneyprincess

about 6 years ago Amme Forever said:

This is a really good story! I like the connection between all the characters. Really interesting, keep writing!