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Approximately 2 minutes to read
I like to write poems, but this is the first time I've actually posted. I hope you guys like it
over 1 year ago Sibi Sabora said:
This is a very well written poem. It sends the feeling o the reader very easily. It is very describtive (sp?)and wonderful. In otherwors, I loved it.
about 2 years ago Daria said:
This is your only poem posted?? No! I want moreee! :D This was AMAZING!!!!! Fantastic job!
about 2 years ago Red said:
This is so sad and beautiful, nice work :D
over 1 year ago Nicole said:
A beautiful poem, overall. Just a couple things: I think that when you say tears dot her pillow, it sounds too dainty compared with the next line. Maybe "stained" or something? Then the line "tears burn..." is a bit repetetive. You've already mentioned tears. Then you switch tenses A LOT. either be in the present tense or the past, not both. Oh, and finally, the line "he seems so far... Off in the distance" a simile would do nicely there. Anywho, it was a great poem- luv ya! :)
over 1 year ago Alex Loomis said:
I saw your post in the DPS group so I decided to read one of your poems. First the good; I liked the idea behind the poem and I liked the form. Now critique; both sections begin well but as they continue they begin to sound more like rambling. Tighten it up. In general, the more you can say with the less words, the better. Also, there were a few typos. Typos stick out and tend to quickly lessen people's opinions of poems. If you read the following, what would you think of it?
"Tiger, tiger burning brite,/ tiger tidre in the knight"
Typos quickly kill quality.
If you want me to look at your other poems, just ask.