Ivory Champagne

Ivory Champagne

5 chapters / 3551 words

Approximately 18 minutes to read


They are coming for me.
I haven't hurt anybody.
It's against my morality to hurt anyone.
But they aren't listening to me.

**The gorgeous cover created by the magnificent Ronnie Taleon!! Thanks, Ronnie xD**


Paranormal, Horror, Novel



about 5 years ago Ebony said:

Please post more of this story, I'm captivated by the plot and character development, particularly in regards to Lissa's innocence and Annie's devotion to her friend. I like the relationship between Lissa and Annie because it seems like they have a relationship that the two should've had with their mothers (for Lissa the honesty, and for Annie the kindness.) I really like how you've developed the characters and in particular I think you showed Lissa's innocence well with how she almost cannot comprehend that her mother could ever do anything wrong, on that note I like the way she seems quite childlike and fragile when she refers to her mother, even with simple things like calling her 'mama'. If there was one thing I thought could be better it was that in the first chapter (of the actual story) you introduced three characters which I think would usually be okay, but it was difficult to remember everybody's story since you introduced each situation without much background information (I actually really like that way of introducing characters but it was a little difficult to keep the three storylines straight because in the first chapter of the story the characters weren't very developed.) I would love to read more of your story I want to know what happens next :) If you could give me feedback on the story I wrote (Dziwo┼╝ona) that would be really helpful :~)


almost 6 years ago Petty said:

Must have more... Trust me, visions of demons and witches will be floating around in my head tonight, and I don't think the fact that I just watched "lady in black" helped. This is beautiful in that it entertwines the lives of several different mythical creatures together, and I'll admit that even though most people think it's cheesy, I love "collision of the worlds" kind of stuff. Having a witch, two vampires, and a half demon child meet and eventually become friends (I hope) is the type of tale that will ensnare me and make me helpless but to read it in its wake. Keep writing!

Head shot

almost 6 years ago Gwendolyn Ballantine said:

I liked this, although I was a little confused as to what was going on at first. I read the first two chapter, and I think I'll definitely keep going.


almost 6 years ago Elizabeth said:

I love this!!


Snow bunnies

about 6 years ago Saphira said:

A few things: 1. I absolutely love. 2. How old is Lissa? 3. How old are ANY of them? 4. What do they look like?

XD Anna. I love it but I want to know more about them. XD


about 6 years ago Didgeridoo-Right said:

Okay, well I read all four chapters... so could you read four chapters? Well, it was an original concept, but not one I'm particularly fond of. It seemed like you were trying too hard to throw in every possible stereo-typically "creepy" thing imaginable. Now, it was still entertaining, so you gain points for that, but there were some pretty noticeable mistakes. So that, combined with my not being very fond of the concept, drops it to an average. Like I said: entertaining, great hook, and it'd make a cool action movie or something. That's all I'd give it though. Oh, and I'd REALLY suggest NOT making the first chapter a letter to the reader: put that in the description if at all.