Very nice! You have fantastic style. I love all the connections you make––from the pepper, to the kiss, to the "catching" of sadness. At first I wasn't really sure how they were all going to fit together, but I think that in the end it worked out quite beautifully. The narrator has such an interesting voice, and I'd like to see this story continue if it were possible... Great job!
This is fantastic. The girl's voice comes through strong and clear. I love that bit at the beginning about the pepper, and him saying she made his lips tingle.
The dialogue in this piece is lovely - it adds such a nice flavor. I really enjoyed reading this. I'm so impressed!
Comments(4)
over 1 year ago Brigid said:
Very nice! You have fantastic style. I love all the connections you make––from the pepper, to the kiss, to the "catching" of sadness. At first I wasn't really sure how they were all going to fit together, but I think that in the end it worked out quite beautifully. The narrator has such an interesting voice, and I'd like to see this story continue if it were possible... Great job!
over 1 year ago Tangerine said:
Sweet and subtle in a lovely way. The narration was perfect, and the detail was great! I hope to see more!
over 1 year ago Elizabeth Payne said:
I like this a lot! It's well-written and you can really relate to the narrator. Nice work =)
over 1 year ago Anande Sjöden said:
This is fantastic. The girl's voice comes through strong and clear. I love that bit at the beginning about the pepper, and him saying she made his lips tingle.
The dialogue in this piece is lovely - it adds such a nice flavor. I really enjoyed reading this. I'm so impressed!
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