1 chapter / 480 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read


Just a rough draft of a little short love story.
Its raw so judge lightly.


Black bird

over 4 years ago Aviline said:

You spelled some things wrong. I noticed you might have meant for in one sentence I don't remember, but you put of. Such a cliche story but it's good!


over 5 years ago Smile(: said:

The ending was so, well, Cliche. :"} ♥


over 5 years ago Emily (Frowning) said:

Very cute. There were a few misspellings (such as 'sauntering' near the end) and places where your words ran together (such as 'wanderfrom' near the end) but overall, great job!


about 6 years ago Rebekah Paramore said:

I like your characters, cute litte story!



over 5 years ago Phil F. said:

I like this a lot. Even in a small time frame you've created a love story that we seem to know the history of more than is actually said and explained. I kept thinking Jake was going to do a better job of apologizing, since I mean, it's a pretty understandable thing to spend time with a family member, unless he had some reason that this one date was so important, like, he'd spent weeks planning it or something.

This love story is a glimpse into what we all kind of want. A best friend to be our significant other, and so fourth. Your descriptions were really great, though, you did have a few typos here and there. Easily fixed.

I'd like it if you cleaned this up and maybe even expanded on it just a little bit. :) -Ez