Great short story. You made the characters pop out and believable. Well written instead of a few little letters that were accedently left out of a couple words. I enjoyed it.
Great short story. You made the characters pop out and believable. Well written instead of a few little letters that were accedently left out of a couple words. I enjoyed it.
I like this a lot. Even in a small time frame you've created a love story that we seem to know the history of more than is actually said and explained. I kept thinking Jake was going to do a better job of apologizing, since I mean, it's a pretty understandable thing to spend time with a family member, unless he had some reason that this one date was so important, like, he'd spent weeks planning it or something.
This love story is a glimpse into what we all kind of want. A best friend to be our significant other, and so fourth. Your descriptions were really great, though, you did have a few typos here and there. Easily fixed.
I'd like it if you cleaned this up and maybe even expanded on it just a little bit. :)
-Ez
Comments(7)
about 1 month ago Aviline said:
You spelled some things wrong. I noticed you might have meant for in one sentence I don't remember, but you put of. Such a cliche story but it's good!
11 months ago Smile(: said:
The ending was so, well, Cliche. :"} ♥
12 months ago Thomas Murray said:
Great short story. You made the characters pop out and believable. Well written instead of a few little letters that were accedently left out of a couple words. I enjoyed it.
12 months ago Thomas Murray said:
Great short story. You made the characters pop out and believable. Well written instead of a few little letters that were accedently left out of a couple words. I enjoyed it.
Reviews(1)
10 months ago Ezra said:
I like this a lot. Even in a small time frame you've created a love story that we seem to know the history of more than is actually said and explained. I kept thinking Jake was going to do a better job of apologizing, since I mean, it's a pretty understandable thing to spend time with a family member, unless he had some reason that this one date was so important, like, he'd spent weeks planning it or something.
This love story is a glimpse into what we all kind of want. A best friend to be our significant other, and so fourth. Your descriptions were really great, though, you did have a few typos here and there. Easily fixed.
I'd like it if you cleaned this up and maybe even expanded on it just a little bit. :) -Ez