Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately about 4 hours to read
A modern Fairy Tale. Work in progress.
Updates and notes on my blog here:
4 months ago Alexandr Lukin said:
ShowBox program allows you to watch Hollywood movies and Serials too, TV shows which are loved to see you daily, you can explore Showbox app at every moment in every day of your life.
over 2 years ago Pigeonfollower said:
I am so mad at you. I have been obsessively reading this (again) and you. Stopped right before it was getting really really good. So mad
about 3 years ago Anna and Avalon Chevalier said:
Can you please please please please continue it and update it???? I want to know more! How do Hayden and Victoria end up? What's the secret that Hayden has?
If you haven't noticed, I am not very patient. :P
over 3 years ago Rhonda said:
Can't wait to read more! I just reread a bunch of it haha
almost 4 years ago R. Soland said:
--Paragraph One: “, and” should be followed by subject-verb. (ex. “, and I try”)
--Gosh, everything reminds her of everything!
--Six hours in a car next to Hayden. This scene is basically ripped straight out of my life, except for the fact that I’m not a princess and I’m not engaged. On my way home from a mission trip, I sat by my crush for the whole TEN-hour drive in the back of the car. It was pretty awesome.
--“The others and per-occupied?” What does this mean? I’m not sure if this is a really wacky typo or just a phrase I don’t understand… Maybe “the others are preoccupied?”
--AW. OHMYGOODNESS. I was like, chill, Tory. He’s a guy. He has other interests. Yeah, it’s disappointing, but that’s the way life is. Plus, Tory, you were interested in other guys, too, so chill. AND THEN I was like AW! :’) (No matter what, he doesn’t only mean the engagement!)
--ENDING OF CHAPTER 106 WAS ADORABLE! OHMYGOODNESS FIND ME ONE OF THOSE BOYS!
--Before Hayden says, “Yeah, that’d be nice,” his actions seem a little too narrated. For such a basic action, keep description simple, such as “he puts his arm around me and squeezes my shoulder.” What you have just sounded awkward.
--“Did you sleep at all?” followed by a laugh? I don’t get the joke…
--SHE LOVES THE SIGHT OF HIM! This story makes me so happy(:
--Oh. The flashback is so sad. (But is it really cause for tears? I’d retink that… maybe make the flashback less cliche, more evolved, and add more personality to it- more of an emotional attachment- you're almost there, and then she can have tears! If this doesn't make sense, please let me know because it's late and I'm tired and I might not make sense)
--Make the first two sentences of the last paragraph one compound-complex sentence. Heightens level of writing ability.
--GREAT WORK OH MY GOODNESS YOU SHOULD JUST WRITE ALL THE TIME LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU UPDATE BECAUSE I MISSED 106 AND I ONLY REALIZED I MISSED IT WHEN I SAW YOU ADDED 107!
--Seriously though, you’re frackin’ amazing, but you know what I’m waiting for? Another dramatic twist! It’s about that time, y’know…
I like how she fakes a smile, THEN she grins. Makes it more real!(:
Alec’s (true) assumption was a little random and sudden and I feel like the conversation needs to transition into it more.
MAN I JUST WISH ASHTON WOULD GO AWAY. I WANT TO KICK HIM.
I’m not sure I know exactly what Ashton lied about? I’m sure you brought it up a while ago, but I’ve forgotten, and now all discussion on it is really vague and unspecific to details.
LOVE HAYDEN’S ENTRANCE AT THE END. ADORBS.