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Approximately 8 minutes to read
Not my best piece, this was just for fun :)
almost 5 years ago Moira Kehoe said:
I like the emotion you had
about 5 years ago Eriny Hany said:
This is really good and so dramatic but one thing I just felt it was going way too fast maybe if you add more it would be better .
over 5 years ago Nicole Lovett said:
I love this! So packed with emotion and drama and wow! O: It's slightly crazy(obviously) and that's what's so good. If this story was human, I would give it a hug (x
over 5 years ago Angela Gabay said:
This is so relate able, and touching. Great story! Keep up the good work.
over 5 years ago Jasper♬ said:
This story is what I like to call perfection. I wasn't really looking for any grammar errors, because I know figment doesn't have a spell check. I really like the emotions in this story, and the way you portrayed the mother's anger. I can't believe she would kill her own husband. The only thing I recommend changing is your epilogue. That part seems to lack a bit of feeling in it. I also didn't find her age in the story. You say she's in her thirties later. I recommend taking the ages out. I feel that it makes the story timeless. Either that, or add her earlier age. Great job and happy writings!
over 5 years ago Nicole Buchholz said:
I enjoyed this very much. The plot is well thought out and I feel that this could be put into a longer story if you wanted. You have great ideas and I would love to see you expand on them. Maybe take events and stretch them out longer. That way you have time and space to work with tranisitions. Plus it keeps the reader on edge until the very last page. Great job! Hope this helps and I do hope that you consider editing it. I would love to re-read it and give you some pointers. And no, I am not trying to sound rude. Just trying to help.