Performer

Performer

11 chapters / 9814 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

Alyssa Roberts is an all-around tomboy. She skateboards, hangs out with guys, and does thing that guys would normally do. Alyssa thought that she had no talent, until her crush, David Peirce, asked her to join the drama group. As it turns out, Alyssa actually enjoyed performing. But, what will happen to Alyssa's tomboy personality?

Genres:

Adventure, Drama, Romance

Comments(4)

Pusheenbday

almost 5 years ago Jessica Yan said:

I loved this! You're an amazing writer, you know. You wrote so good for this story, and I could tell you put a great amount of effort in it.

2005-06-05-896

almost 5 years ago Aaliya Urban & Lily Land said:

I love the ending and I can't wait for the next book!

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over 5 years ago Loubbie Lou said:

Nice ending! Ireally like it!

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over 5 years ago ♔♥◊NightingGale◊♥♔ said:

Thanks Ceila!! :D

Reviews(3)

Dystopia cityscape

almost 5 years ago Morgana Wallace said:

As others have pointed out, your characterization, spelling, and grammar could use some work. The story has some good ideas overall, but there are a few problems I noticed. For instance, you keep claiming Alyssa is a tomboy, but she dresses in "mini shirts" and "skinny jeans." Two things tomboys would definitely stay away from. Beyond that, the "chickfight" from chapter 2 seemed to happen out of nowhere. What I mean is, the dialogue doesn't have an adequate enough build up to them rolling on the floor. And as for the setting, why Forks, Washington? That's not a real place, and it was created specifically for the Twilight series. I would simply like to suggest that you create an original setting, so as to help readers approach your piece without any pre-conceived notions about life there. That is all.

Myself =)

almost 5 years ago Lucy~ said:

This is quite an amazing novel you have here, considering it's your first! I love the plot and the character development. However, not all novels are perfect (even though yours is pretty close =]) First, I noticed some spelling mistakes. To help this, you can search up the word on the Internet and see how to spell it. Or, you can type it on something like Microsoft Word first, then copy it onto figment. Second off, simple grammar mistakes, which only a Grammar Police like myself notice easily. Third of all, I think the character development of David and Jessica aren't described enough. However, if you're expanding these characters in Star, then disregard the 'Third of all'. Can't wait for the next book! =D