Remembering Riley

Remembering Riley

16 chapters / 11525 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

What would you do if the love of your life forgot who you were?

Genres:

Drama, Romance, Novel

Comments(5)

Lying

almost 5 years ago Juliet Gordanier said:

Oh.My.God. This is freaking amazing! I actually cried...

Dscn0507

over 5 years ago just_another_bookaholic said:

you. need. to. write!!! its amazing! the characters are beautifully described and the emotions all seem so real. everything is worded so perfectly...! please, please, please grace us with another chapter!

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over 5 years ago Alyssa Antoine said:

i've read the first chapter so far. your character descriptions are very vivid. the details are gorgeous!

Picure

over 5 years ago Kaeli Brooks said:

You have to keep on writing this :) it is really good

Reviews(2)

Butterfly-with-flowers

over 5 years ago Lily Nightwind said:

First of all, I really enjoyed this. I think it is well-written and really interesting. I'm very eager to get farther into the story and see what will happen now that you've basically set the stage.

The imagery was very nice. I like the description in the beginning a lot. It was a nice use of the present tense, and you really hook in the reader there. That scene is very sweet, too. It tells you a little about the two main characters and their relationship. The only thing I can critique was that the way they talk sounds a little mature for kids in second and fourth grade. This isn't a big thing, but maybe you could have them talk a little bit more....simply, I guess, for lack of a better word. But that's not too important. I think we learn a lot especially about Riley's character - smart, curious, a bookworm, and a little socially awkward (especially with that last sentence!).

The other two chapters were good as well. The second was obviously meant as a filler, as you get a lot of information about how Alex feels about Riley. I would suggest that you don't put so much information about how he feels right there. I know it would take more time, but I think it would be more powerful if you showed how he felt rather than telling. This would mean you'd need more writing before the accident.

I'm not sure who gets hurt and forgets the other person -- I'm assuming it's Alex, based on the title -- but some flashbacks from the other character would be nice to fill in some of the missing information and tell us more about the characters.

Also, I would like to learn more about Alex's personality. He seems a bit one dimensional at this point, as we don't really know much about him. Yes, he obviously loves Riley and he stands up for her, but at the same time he likes to party and do the stuff she doesn't, but I'd like to know more. Characters become more interesting when they have a background - their family, their friends, past experiences, values. I know you've just started, but when you continue writing I would suggest you pay special attention to this, because characters are the most important part of any story.

Now, onto the technical aspect - I noticed some grammar issues and typos, but it wasn't too bad. Just look through and clear them up.

Overall, great story. It's a great beginning, and I'm very curious to learn what will happen next. Please keep writing! :)

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over 5 years ago Maya Crawford said:

This book is absolutely breath taking. I love the concept and plot. They make me want to just go to my crush and hug him. I like how you set up the story and how show the boy's affection for Riley. Just an idea but what if you used the bracelet that she is making in the beginning throughout the story, maybe he gives it to her as a present or vice-versa), or that is what helps him remember her. I dunno, it just seems like something that could be important to the story. But that is just a suggestion. But I think you should continue writing this story. It seems like it will be amazing :)