somewhere shudder wings

somewhere shudder wings

1 chapter / 107 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Description:

Whispers through the wood. Part of a larger narrative set.

Genres:

Fantasy, Mystery, Poetry

Comments(5)

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almost 6 years ago earthboundpixie said:

You do such an effective job of creating a setting here...lovely. I especially enjoy the way you phrased "just the slightest bit of otherness"

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almost 6 years ago j wheat welton said:

"I carve out a little nook for myself. I pull together leaves and ink and the whispered melodies and in them I am some kind of safe."

I feel like this is about writing poetry itself. Glorious.

Mesa

almost 6 years ago Rowana Renee said:

You're really very good; all of your work gives off the vibe that it should be published and selling for high prices somewhere ^_^

This was excellent, as always, and stunningly beautiful ^_^

Hike

almost 6 years ago Syd Sirois said:

You write very well :D Loved it!

Reviews(2)

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about 6 years ago Carmen Lopez said:

Good job! You are really good at writing poems! Once again, a lot of visual descriptions which are good. You always need to paint the scene for the audience. Also, I really liked the emotion put into the poem. It made me feel like I was the girl!

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about 6 years ago Rachel Lewis said:

This was beautiful. I have hardly a critique. The whispered words were perfectly rhythmic and woven into the rest. The only thing I would change is:

"Enough to feel the sun breathing through you and feel just the slightest bit of otherness. So I stay."

The "you" part felt a bit awkward to me. Maybe just:

"Enough to feel the sun breathing just the slightest bit of otherness. So I stay."

Or insert something else there? I feel that it makes it flow better.

Very, very well done. I could hear leaves crumbling beneath bare feet and smell the dirt and even sense that quiet magic.